2214. EBB to RB
As published in The Brownings’ Correspondence, 12, 80–81.
[London]
Monday evening– [16 February 1846] [1]
Now forgive me dearest of all, but I must teaze you just a little, & entreat you, if only for the love of me, to have medical advice & follow it without further delay. I like to have recourse to these medical people quite as little as you can—but I am persuaded that it is necessary, .. that it is at least wise, for you to do so now .. &, you see, you were “not quite so well” again last night! So will you, for me? Would I not, if you wished it?– And on wednesday, yes, on wednesday, come—that is, if coming on wednesday should really be not bad for you .. for you must do what is right & kind .. and I doubt whether the omnibus-driving & the noises of every sort betwixt us, should not keep you away for a little while .. I trust you to do what is best for both of us.
And it is not best .. it is not good even, to talk about “dying for me” .. oh, I do beseech you never to use such words– You make me feel as if I were choking– Also it is nonsense—because nobody puts out a candle for the light’s sake.
Write one line to me tomorrow .. literally so little .. just to say how you are. I know by the writing here, what is. Let me have the one line by the eight oclock post tomorrow, tuesday.
For the rest it may be my “goodness” or my badness, but the world seems to have sunk away beneath my feet & to have left only you to look to & hold by. Am I not to feel, then, any trembling of the hand? the least trembling?
May God bless both of us—which is a double blessing for me notwithstanding my badness.
I trust you about wednesday .. & if it should be wise & kind not to come quite so soon, we will take it out of other days & lose not one of them. And as for anything “horrible” being likely to happen, do not think of that either,—there can be nothing horrible while you are not ill. So be well—try to be well .. use the means .. &, well or ill, let me have the one line tomorrow .. tuesday. I send you the foolish letter I wrote today in answer to your too long one—too long, was it not, as you felt? And I, the writer of the foolish one, am twice-foolish, & push poor ‘Luria’ out of sight, & refuse to finish my notes on him [2] till the harm he has done shall have passed away– In my badness I bring false accusation, perhaps, against poor Luria–
So till wednesday—or as you shall fix otherwise–
Your Ba–
Publication: RB-EBB, pp. 471–472 (as [15 February 1846]).
Manuscript: Wellesley College.
1. This letter was enclosed with letter 2212.
2. For EBB’s notes on Luria, see vol. 11, pp. 393–399.
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