Correspondence

411.  EBB to Hugh Stuart Boyd

As published in The Brownings’ Correspondence, 2, 297.

Hope End.

Friday. [ca. May 1831] [1]

My dearest friend,

I cannot bear you to continue to think what you seemed to think yesterday, that I have less regard for you than I ever have had. You certainly must have employed a curious & most illogical process of reasoning, to arrive at such a conclusion. Assure yourself that if I had not cared for you I should not have cared, for one moment, about sending back your book; and I wonder this is not obvious to you without my saying it. The fact was simply this—I was pleased two years ago by what I considered a mark of your friendship when you gave me the two books you had used at Westminster: and when last Friday you sent for the Terence, I considered that a withdrawing of one mark of the friendship I had so much valued—as if you had said—“I care less than I did, about her caring for me”. This was the feeling & the only feeling, I do solemnly assure you, that passed over my mind,—and the circumstance of my being very much out of spirits & doubtful as to the probability of our ever meeting again as happily as we have done,—made it leave a stronger & more obvious impression as it went, than might otherwise have been the case. I hope you will forgive me for writing anything on this subject or any other, that may have displeased you in the very slightest degree. If you had even behaved ill & unkindly to me, I am not sure whether I could have cared less for you; and never, not even on Friday, did I attribute to you anything but that possible change of feeling which must have been too involuntary, for me to blame,—to whatever extent I might have been pained by it!—— And now are you convinced? I hope you are. I cannot bear to think that what may be the last period of our near communication, should be clouded, in a way unknown to the first.

Yours ever & very affectionately

E B Barrett.

May best love to Mrs Boyd & Annie.

Publication: EBB-HSB, p. 128.

Manuscript: Wellesley College.

1. The continued uncertainty regarding the Boyds’ and Barretts’ removal places this letter in this period.

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