519. EBB to Julia Martin
As published in The Brownings’ Correspondence, 3, 162–164.
74. Gloucester Place Portman Square
Jany 1st 1836.
My dearest Mrs Martin,
I am half willing & half unwilling to write to you, when among such dearer interests & deep anxieties, you may perhaps be scarcely at liberty to attend to what I write. And yet I will write, if it be only briefly: that you may not think, if you think of us at all, that we have changed our hearts with our residence, so much as to forget to sympathize with you, dear Mrs Martin, or to neglect to apprize you ourselves of our movements. Indeed a letter to you shd have been written among my first letters on arriving in London; only Henrietta (my scape goat, you will say) said “I will write to Mrs Martin”. And then after I had waited, & determined to write without waiting any longer, we heard of poor Mrs Hanford’s affliction & your anxiety, [1] & I have considered day after day whether or not I should intrude upon you,—until I find myself––thus!–
I do hope that you have from the hand of God those consolations which only He in Jesus Christ; can give to the so afflicted. For I know well that you are afflicted with the afflicted,—and that with you, sympathy is suffering; & that while the tenderest earthly comfort is administered by your presence & kindness, to your dear friends, you will feel bitterly for them, what a little thing earthly comfort is, when the earthly beloved perish before them! May He who is the Beloved in the sight of His Father & His church be near to them & you, & cause you to feel as well as know the truth, that what is sudden sorrow, to our judgments, is only long prepared mercy, in His will whose names are Wisdom & Love. Should it not be, dear friend, that the tears of our human eyes ought to serve the happy & touching purpose of reminding us of those tears of Jesus, which He shed in assuming our sorrow with our flesh? And the memory of those tears involves all comfort. A recognition of the oneness of the human nature of that devine Saviour who ever liveth, with ours which perishes & sorrows so,—an assurance drawn from thence of His sympathy who sits on the throne of God, with us who suffer in the dust of earth—and of all those doctrines of redemption & sanctification & happiness which come from Him & by Him.
Now you will forgive me for writing all this, dearest Mrs Martin: I like to write my thoughts & feelings out of my head & heart, just as they suggest themselves, when I write to you: and I cannot think of affliction, particularly when it comes near to me in the affliction or anxiety of dear friends, without looking back, & remembering what voice of God used to sound softly to me when none other could speak comfort. You will forgive me—& not be angry with me for trying, or seeming to try, to be a sermon writer.
Perhaps dear Mrs Martin, when you do feel inclined & able to write, you wd write me a few lines. Remember—I do not ask for them now– No: do not think of writing now. I shall like very much to hear how your dear charge is—whether there shd appear any prospect of improvement; & how poor Mrs Hanford bears up against this heavy calamity,—& whether the anxiety & nursing affect your health. But we shall try to hear this from the Biddulphs; & so, do put me out of your head except when its thoughts wd dwell on those on earth, who sympathize with you & care for you.
You see we are in London after all, & poor Sidmouth left afar. I am almost inclined to say ‘poor us!’ instead of ‘poor Sidmouth!’ But I dare say I shall soon be able to see in my dungeon, & begin to be amused with the spiders. Half my soul, in the meantime, seems to have stayed behind on the sea shore, which I love more than ever, now that I cannot walk on it, in the body. London is wrapped up like a mummy, in a yellow mist, so closely that I have had scarcely a glimpse of its countenance since we came. Well! I am trying to like it all very much. And I dare say that in time, I may change my taste & my senses,––& succeed. We are in a house large enough to hold us, for four months: at the end of which time, if the experiment of our being able to live in London succeed, I believe that Papa’s intention is, to take an unfurnished house & have his furniture from Ledbury. You may wonder at me; but I wish that were settled so, & now. I am satisfied with London, altho’ I cannot enjoy it. We are not likely, in the case of leaving it, to return to Devonshire; and I shd look with weary eyes to another strangership & pilgrimage, even among green fields that know not these fogs. Papa’s object in settling here, refers to my brothers. George will probably enter as a barrister student at the Inner Temple, on the fifth or sixth of this month; and he will have the advantage of his home, by our remaining where we are.– Another advantage of London is, that we shall see here those whom we might see no where else! This year, dear Mrs Martin—may it bring with it the true pleasure of seeing you! Three have gone; & we have not seen you.!
We had a letter from Bell a fortnight ago. The romantic plan connected with the Alps, has gone the way of many romances: and now after an attempt, made ineffectual by the cholera, to return to Italy with the Hedleys, she is established with them at Nice for the winter,—& very happily! I am afraid that our mutual dream of living near each other, has come to a waking by our coming to London.
Henrietta .. can you believe it?—was very loth to leave Sidmouth; & turns many looks of regret back to it. The affectionate love wh. she sends to you is more unchanging than her local tastes! Give, besides, our kindest regards to Mr Martin. May God bless you & all that you care for, being with you always as the God of consolation & peace.
Your affectionate
E B Barrett.
I have seen the Miss Biddulphs twice. They seem to me to be looking very well—all of them, except Penelope.
Address, on integral page: Mrs James Martin / Imperial Hotel / Cheltenham.
Publication: LEBB, I, 33–35 (in part).
Manuscript: Wellesley College.
1. We have not been able to establish the nature of Mrs. Hanford’s affliction. As EBB later speaks of Mrs. Martin’s acting as nurse, the inference is that it was Mrs. Hanford herself, rather than one of her family, who was ill as a result of the “heavy calamity” which EBB mentions.
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