662. EBB to Mary Russell Mitford
As published in The Brownings’ Correspondence, 4, 78–80.
50 Wimpole St.
Tuesday. August 14 [1838] [1]
It is not yet sure on what day I go—and they are trying to persuade me that I may go tomorrow. I do not think that I may. Everything depends upon Papa’s resolve & I do not think that he has resolved so. But even if I “may go tomorrow”, I must not go then or any day without writing a few words to you my beloved friend. I will write them on the strength of that “may”, though I do not believe in it—having waited to write them for some decision of wind & plan. Certainly I could not go without trying to thank you for all your great & most touching & tender kindness as expressed in the letters lying beside me. If I did, I should sink in the sea by the weight of my own heart! and as it must be a heavy one, any way, I may unload it of some of its feelings of gratefulness & affection, thus, & to you my kindest & dearest Miss Mitford.
And you would—were it not for one golden chain—may God keep every link of it strong! [2] —go to Torquay, pass the winter there, & all for me! And you will as it is, write to me once a week, oftener if I please (if I please!!) & love me & pray for me always! I thank you for all this surpassing kindness! But you shall not write to me as often as I please. You shall not write to me even once a week—& never—except when you can do so without harrassing yourself & tiring yourself—you who have so many too many occupations. But you shall do what I know you will—write to me when you have snatches of time in which you might talk to me—did we happen to be near enough for talking—whenever you are least likely to be tired by writing!—and then I can be happy over your letters without remorse, & you can be acknowledged most worthily (in virtue of the good & cheerfulness done by those letters) a ‘sœur de la charitè’ [3] in opposition to us of the Port Royal.
If it be God’s will to bring me here again, I shall very gladly make Mrs Anderdon’s acquaintance, & her daughter’s—both for the sake of what you say of them—and for a reason which might stand by itself .. that they are friends of yours. [4]
Not many more words shall be added to these; & I will keep these until the day of going is a fixed one. The ‘may’ for tomorrow makes me feel uncomfortable—& I cannot just now <w>rite about ballads or anything thereto pertaining. There shall be however as little delay as possible in returning the proof. [5] I wish that you your own self had given something dramatic to Finden!——
The ‘favorite maid’! That struck a strained string. Think of our maid—my sisters’ & mine—deciding just now—only two days ago,—that she would not go with me! We have been obliged to engage another, with great difficulty & haste,—& she came as a stranger last night! [6] It is another shade upon the Torquay journey!– The reason given for the sudden decision was, the state of her health; and indeed she is not well, poor thing, nor does she look so! But still under the circumstances she might have decided either before or afterwards—not just at this moment—particularly as she had lived between two & three years with us, & had professed her willingness to go anywhere with me. I thanked her for saying so just three weeks ago! We have some reason for suspecting a fear of the sea-voyage to have had a little to do with the change—but I shall not mind this inconvenience much, or any other at all, if I may have with me one of my dear sisters. Another ‘may’ to make me anxious! Nothing is decided.
May God ever bless you! You shall hear from Torquay! Does Dr Mitford, or do you, like Devonshire cream? Tell me whether either or both of you do?
Your attached
E B Barrett.
I am so obliged both to the carpenter for stealing the old pencil case and to you for not scorning the new one.
Monday August 20th
Dearest Miss Mitford, you must dree [7] this antique of a letter, because I cant afford to let you think it possible that I could live so long without at least writing a reply to some words of yours. After many uncertainties, my sister Henrietta, my eldest brother who boasts of having once been introduced to you, & my brother George are promised to go with me—& I am going possibly, I wont say certainly, on Wednesday to Plymouth where we may be detained a day or two before any other vessel will take us back to Torquay. Therefore dont imagine us to be among Mr Tennyson[’]s Mermen & maids, [8] if you shd not hear of our arrival for a week to come or more– Oh! this going! It does cost me so much—more than I dare write about today. I had given up the whole attempt for three days last week! but it is to be made I suppose after all!– May God bless you–
The proof has come. How cd you put me in the first place—not my place I am sure!—— I shall feel as ashamed as my short-petticoated heroine ought to feel!—— [9]
By an anachronism (common you know to the poets) here is a double letter written, & no franker in all London, as far as I can find, to direct it!– I sent last night in vain to Mr Kenyon—& so now nothing is left to me but to make a parcel of my mistakes!——
Mr Hughes was right I think about dree. At least I have not succeeded in finding an instance of that word being used substantively. I have changed it. [10]
As to ble, I accept your permission & leave it. [11] A <***>
Address: Miss Mitford / Three Mile Cross / Near Reading.
Docket, on reverse of envelope in Miss Mitford’s hand: Zinnia.
Publication: EBB-MRM, I, 89–91.
Manuscript: Eton College Library and Wellesley College.
1. Year provided by EBB’s impending departure for Torquay.
2. i.e., Miss Mitford’s responsibility to her invalid father.
3. “Sister of charity.” This was the title of Chorley’s contribution to the 1839 Findens’ Tableaux.
4. Mrs. Oliver Anderdon and her daughter, Lucy Olivia Hobart Anderdon.
5. The proof sheets of “The Romaunt of the Page,” EBB’s poem for the 1839 Findens’ Tableaux.
6. Elizabeth Crow (1817–86), a native of Lincolnshire, remained with EBB until the spring of 1844, when it was discovered that she had married secretly another member of the household staff, William Treherne, the son of John Treherne, who was originally employed in the stables at Hope End and finally as butler. The Trehernes set up a bakery shop in Camden Town. “Favorite maid” probably refers to Miss Mitford’s Martha.
7. “Suffer; bear” (OED).
8. “The Merman” and “The Mermaid” were included in Tennyson’s Poems, Chiefly Lyrical (1830).
9. Ellen, the subject of EBB’s poem. See letter 636, note 4.
10. “Dree” did not appear in the final text.
11. Lines 155–156 of “The Romaunt of the Page” read “For white of blee with waiting for me / Is the corse in the next chambère.” “Blee” means colour, hue, and, by extension, complexion or form (OED).
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