772. EBB to Mary Russell Mitford

As published in The Brownings’ Correspondence, 4, 297.

[Torquay]

[early October 1840] [1]

My ever beloved friend,

I never once thought of your thanking [us] for such a thing—nor could any of us—although it seems to me that no hand can so rightly express this as the one which trembles so in doing it. You are always among the most affectionate & disinterested. I supposed it to be a duty on my part to give up the trust into your hand. [2]

I am better you see—& thankful for being so, on one account (as far as concerns myself) for it gives me hope that they will soon let me go away from this dreadful dreadful place. The physician said I shd die in going if they took me—but nearly three months’ anguish here has been the worse killing. Oh my beloved friend!– These walls—& the sound of what is very fearful a few yards from them—that perpetual dashing sound, have preyed on me. I have been crushed trodden down. God’s will is terrible!– [3]

But they are well—those who are left. I thank God. I pray for you beloved friend & yours—loving you truly & to the end.

Your EBB.

I am very much better. Arabel’s affecte thanks! Write to me.

Publication: EBB-MRM, I, 202.

Manuscript: Wellesley College.

1. Dated by EBB’s reference to “nearly three months’ anguish” after Bro’s death.

2. EBB’s prostration after her brother’s death made it impossible for her to fulfil her promise to contribute to the 1841 Findens’ Tableaux. As she was unable to write herself, it is apparent that some member of her family wrote to Miss Mitford on her behalf.

3. “Bro,” the closest to EBB of all the family and “always the adytum of all her secrets & plans” (SD1131), had died on 11 July while out sailing, when a sudden squall capsized the boat (see SD1129 and vol. 1, pp. 289–290). Because he had been allowed to remain in Torquay through her pleading, she felt herself to blame for the tragedy; she was scarcely able to bring herself ever to mention it, even to RB.

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