Correspondence

688.  EBB to Samuel Moulton-Barrett (brother)

As published in The Brownings’ Correspondence, 4, 136–137.

[Torquay]

[Postmark: 19 April 1839]

My ever dearest Sam, not the chancellor’s great seal could cover what I want to write to you—much less, Henrietta’s little one. [1] I am afraid she is turning into a miser—but she need’nt & shant make me misera [2] by denying me the sweep of my plume [3] this morning,—you were so kind as to send me a very welcome & a very kind little note some time ago—& I do entreat you my dearest Sam to believe that I value your affection & respond to every breath of it whether my breath comes & goes silently or not!– It is something to feel that you are in England [4] —something but not all. And I cannot help sometimes being near to a murmur that your visit shd have hitherto been almost & so far a thing [‘]‘to hear of & not to see” [5] —& what is to me still painfuller, that I shd be the means of interfering between you & the happiness you naturally expected in dearest Henrietta’s society, & Bro’s—& between them & your happiness– Oh! may we see you very soon, to put all this out of our heads–

You are not, any of you, to think a second time, of the blister [6] —which has maimed me so little, you see, this morning. The impulse given to the circulation by the last two or three days cold winds, wdnt come to an end at the first change to sunshine & west winds—altho’ I fancied it wd– I felt so much better three days ago for one day– But the pulsation & a little feverishness have been disquieting me yesterday & the day before—& saline draughts wd not do all the good, tho’ apparently well inclined to do their share. So Dr Barry went last night to the root of the matter & ordered a blister, & I am the better for it this morning, & the action of the heart fallen to an ordinary and respectable jog trot. There was some slight pain in the chest—but nothing either to mind, or to make a fuss about.

Tell Arabel I cant wait any longer for Miss Bordman’s note, or Dr Elliotson’s pamphlet. [7] She must have quite forgotten me to have such an idea of my patience. Tell her she had far better put everything into a small bandbox & with them, a packet of letters & my satin bonnet. Dr Barry told me two or three days ago that he hoped to get me into the air in a month’s time!! & I cant go out without a bonnet. That’s certain! & I have not any here except a black one. So tell Arabel to pack up the bandbox, & send it—not in a month but now! I have been dreaming of walking with Papa. Such a walk we had!– He led me over gates & stiles & palings of all sorts, till I was quite out of breath. But it was a pleasant walk after all—& in the course of it, we met a child of Wordsworth’s, & it held out its arms to kiss me! And then came a most tremendous rain in which Papa vanished away—and appeared a dreadful vision of Dr Barry in wrath– Did I mean to commit felo de &c.? [8] So I was transferred to a burning hot fire side, to dry my soaked shoes—and I could not find them when they were dried, to put on again! I cd find nothing but one immense shoe with Harriet Martineau written inside, & large enough for me to live inside of! So, like my illustrious predecessor who lived in a shoe, [9] I did’nt know what to do–

Unfortunate Ba to be forced to tell her dreams for lack of more amusing matter—& more unfortunate Sam to have to hear them——

Give my most tender love to my beloved Papa, & all the Beloveds. Tell Mary [Hunter] that her father has never written a word to me, & that I am inexorably angry. Love to dearest Trippy, to whom I am going to write a scold– Mention dear Minny’s eyes—& say how Mrs Nuttall is!–

My dearest Sam’s

sincerely attached

Ba

The expectoration very little.

Address, on integral page: S M Barrett Esqr / 50. Wimpole Street. / London.

Publication: None traced.

Manuscript: Eton College Library.

1. This letter follows one written by Henrietta (SD998) and was sealed with a very small, green wax seal. Henrietta left EBB only one flap of the cover sheet upon which to write; uncharacteristically, EBB’s letter is partly cross-written over Henrietta’s.

2. “Unhappy.”

3. A punning reference to “ma plume” (my pen).

4. Sam had returned to England from Jamaica in the previous November.

5. Cf. Matthew, 13:13.

6. See letter 599, note 2.

7. See the conclusion of letter 686.

8. Felo-de-se: suicide.

9. i.e., the Old Woman in the nursery rhyme, who had so many children that she didn’t know what to do.

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