119. EBB to Edward Moulton-Barrett (father)
As published in The Brownings’ Correspondence, 1, 114–115.
[Hope End]
[ca. March 1821] [1]
My ever ever dearest Puppy,
Sams letter to Mama recieved yesterday was certainly the bearer of a severe disappointment to me as it contained the tidings of your being yet uncertain whether to allow me the long anticipated happiness of beholding my beloved Bro, Granny, Trip yourself and sweet Storm or to withhold the delightful boon!– When I showed you Sams letters in which he declared an intention of bringing down his own carriage in order to return with me, you did not object, and I fondly believed that a kind consent was implied by your silence! I am undeceived, and am I actuated by presumption when I thus come forward to throw myself on your mercy? I believe I am not, for whilst I supplicate a smile I will submit to a disappointing frown without a murmur, tho not perhaps without a pang! So thoroughly am I convinced of my ever dearest Papa’s affection for me, and so perfectly am I aware of the superiority of his judgement that I would not complain tho the awful fiat were to pass his lips, and yet while my fate is not decided I may hope, and I may sollicit a merciful sentence!
You may perhaps exclaim with Apollo “Magna petis ba” but you cannot add “Non est mortale quod optas” [2] – Consider my dearest Puppy that by one smile accompanied by that politest of all little words—“Yes”, you may make me more happy, more grateful than all the pomp of Ciceronian eloquence can express! Oh! do not, pray do not, refuse! at least do not be angry with me for pressing on you a boon which has been so long, so joyfully anticipated!
Your grand objection is on account of my singing!! I promise you most faithfully and on my honor, that if you allow those features to relax into a becoming smile I will practise carefully every day in London my “do re fa” which if I do Mrs Orme [3] <…> [4] thinks will even improve my voice? I also promise most faithfully that on my return home I will turn all my energies towards understanding, & excelling in, both vocal and practical Music!
When I promise my dearest Puppy I do not consider myself slightly bound but under a sacred obligation to fulfil it!
Thus have I offered every thing in my power in order to obtain that fascinating solitary word “yes”! I have bid as high as my purse will admit! Oh let the kind, the affectionate Auctioneer exclaim “Going .. going .. gone.”!
My heart whispers that you will not refuse, that you will not turn from me in anger! My dearest, dearest Puppy grant my request! one week in London! Let me not be acused of presumption in thus entreating so urgently for a petition to which perhaps you annex no importance! But to me my beloved Puppy it seems worthy to ma<ke> “worlds contend”– Imagine yourself my age once more, how your heart would beat with joy at the prospect of an excursion to the metropolis! Have I tormented you? If I have, oh! forgive me, and let the kind verdict be “Guilty but to be recomended to mercy”——
Your always affectionate
and fondly attached Child
Ba–
Publication: HUP, I, xlv–xlvii.
Manuscript: Berg Collection.
1. Conjectural dating based on EBB’s disappointment at not going to London during Charles John’s visit.
2. Cf. Ovid, Metamorphoses, II, 54–56: “thou askest too much, Phæthon” and “not for mortals is that thou askest.”
3. Governess to the children at Hope End. Her forte seems to have been music.
4. Two illegible words, covered by ink blots.
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