1365. Benjamin Robert Haydon to EBB
As published in The Brownings’ Correspondence, 7, 300–301.
[London]
½ past five in the Morning Aug 30. 1843
And so you think I have not done my finest work!– I know it, my sweet Friend—the Crucifixion will be my last & greatest [1] —and then I shall mount—I could not sleep so up I got–
I have always prayed to see the Art reformed, & then I have always said I’ll die, if it please my Creator– I have lived to see it reformed & to be its reformer but I am not dead & I humbly hope my merciful Creator means me yet for something more–
They have used me this year bitterly cruel to gratify the hatred of the Academy[.] Peel has no moral Courage—he did not dare make a stand, though he knew I deserved it—& Eastlake has less than his Master.
I was right opposite the Queen, as she came from the Library[,] [2] in a front seat [of the] Painted Gallery, which I always choose in preference to the Body of the House where the Men are penned off like Cattle instead of being mixed with Women as we are in the gallery—if I am to be squeezed to death, allow me to say, the tender presence of a sweet darling, about or above me, I prefer, ten to one, to a brute who treads on your toes, & squeezes your ribs. I always feel inclined to strike out right & left—& clear a passage–
As she came I caught her large full Eye, right in my own—the most singular thing is, I never see her jewels so powerful are her eyes [3] —as she returned, I was looking sideways, but I caught her looking directly at me, from the corner of my Eye, my glasses hinder any one seeing my look, I darted round my head in an instant, so quickly she could’nt escape, & I saw her large Eyes, glance off, with an Effort, as Women do when they are caught—this is no vanity of mine—it is a fact– Upon my Soul it’s truth—I assure you, & there was a momentary expression of off her guard, in spite of her Self possession.
Woman is Woman—Queen or not Queen– She seemed annoyed I had such evidence of being of sufficient consequence for her to look at—she could’nt escape, & her large Eyes had that exquisite twinkle, when there is a little awkwardness, as there was, because she was annoyed–
I should think she was not a pleasant person[;] she has I[’]ll bet my existence that detestable feeling of not gratifying the Vanity of Man & makes Albert feel it, I’ll be bound,—Sad when I thought of my love, & looked at her (the Queen) what a Queen she would make! I’ll send you a large study of her divine face to-morrow– I am going to see her in an hour[.] [4] I dont think Cleopatra, or Aspasia, or Thais, or Phryne [5] could beat her beauty– I am sure they could’nt—and so you’ll think–
Your note last night was delightful do not cease writing longer than a fortnight– I shall fine you two notes if you do–
Take care of my glorious oil—& Believe me my dearest dream & invisible intellectuality
B R Haydon
P.S.
Be assured, my lecture did me immense good– I have recovered my self estimation, by such a defiance[.]
A Black cat walked in to my house last night jumped on my lap & purred– There’s an end of Evil this year—luck will now return—remember I predict it[.]
Publication: EBB-BRH, pp. 143–144.
Manuscript: University of Vermont.
1. Haydon recorded in his diary for 7 March 1823: “O God, I have this day began the Crucifixion! … Enable me to conclude grandly & sublimely … Grant when finished, its effect may be so powerful that the interests of Christianity may be advanced” (Pope, II, 405). He started another version on 22 May 1832, and apparently now intended to commence a third, but there is no evidence that he did so.
2. At the prorogation of Parliament on 24 August.
3. Haydon recorded in his diary for 29 August that Sir George Cockburn had said to him: “It is a pity she is so short.” Haydon replied: “It is, but it is curious, her Eyes are so strong, I never see her diamonds. I speak as an Artist” (Pope, V, 305).
4. He is speaking of Caroline Norton.
5. Aspasia, a priestess of the sun, was renowned for the remarkable beauty of her complexion. Thaïs, a famous Athenian courtesan who accompanied Alexander the Great during his Asiatic campaign, was also celebrated for her exceptional charms, physical and mental. Phryne, also an Athenian courtesan, was the mistress of Praxiteles, whose statue of her, placed in the temple of Apollo at Delphi, was one of his best works.
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