1655. EBB to Richard Hengist Horne
As published in The Brownings’ Correspondence, 9, 55–56.
[London]
Sunday. [21 July 1844] [1]
My dear Mr Horne ..
Can you, any wise, forgive what is to come?
Oh—you know it—you guess it! you had a presentiment of the empty shawl left on the sofa.!!——
In the first place, you have been (as is natural to your sex …) indiscreet! and a common friend of ours writes to me, … “When you see Mr Horne” ......! which is the first note to a flourish of trumpets incident to the entrance of a whole troop of poets & prophets, with letters of introduction! What wd become of me?
But in the second place, the great second place, … here is my book just being finished, .. & I, very tired, & requiring every breath of life [2] & sinew of strength belonging to me, to bear up under the excitement of the next fortnight .. without the avatar of such a demi-god as Orion to thunder me into dust. I must, .. I ought to hold my breath .. & be quiet, for the duties & necessities of my undertaking—having very serious thoughts of being ill comfortably & at all leisure, when the litter of proofs is swept away—& I have been thinking of seeing you till I am half in a fever,—& come at last to throw myself on your generosity & all the forgiveness in your power, to forgive me withal, & to allow me to put off our interview until you come back from Germany!– Will you? & will you promise not to give me up, in a pet;—just as I do a riddle, which is not worth taking the trouble of making out!– And also, will you believe that I wish & desire to see you face to face notwithstanding my hide-and-seek ways,—& that visibly or invisibly I shall be sure always to have a sincere regard for you? Now, do write directly—because I shall be weary till you tell me your thoughts—& because you must prove them to be as gentle to me as possible. Why, what shd prevent our meeting as easily when you come back? We shall be precisely on the same level, for meeting––only you will know rather more German! As for me, somebody swore to me the other day, who had known me since I was in my teens, that except for looking paler & thinner, I had not since then altered one shade or line; & must have hermetically sealed myself up out of the air of changes, on purpose. And then it is proved, you know, that I cant possibly die—— Therefore we shall meet on the same level after your return from the continent. And as to the “indefiniteness” of the return, you only talked of that to frighten me—& you will be back definitely in a few weeks– Will you not? & will you not forgive me? & try to sympathize with my ..... what shall I say?
You shd have my first volume—but the preface is not printed, & I shd like you to have it complete. Can you not give me instructions where & how to send you the two volumes “from the author”–? Tell me on what day you leave London, too––precisely & at the latest, if you please. Yes! I have heard a great deal of your late gossipings at Three Mile Cross, & your starry singing— .. & other varieties!
Will you write to me, I wonder, from Germany?—and shall I be allowed to write to you?
Oh—if you “give me up” like a riddle!
Ever & truly yours
EBB–
Address: R H Horne Esqr / 5. Fortess Terrace / Kentish Town.
Publication: None traced.
Manuscript: Pierpont Morgan Library.
1. Date provided by the postmark of 22 July 1844, a Monday.
2. Genesis 2:7.
___________________
