2019. EBB to George Goodin Moulton-Barrett
As published in The Brownings’ Correspondence, 11, 57–59.
[London]
Wednesday. [3 September 1845] [1]
My dearest George, you will wonder at my silence perhaps,—& if you called me ungrateful “at the top of wonder,” I shall not be surprised at all. Still, I have been so tossed & ruffled in every direction—I have had such an equinox of mind,—with a ‘yes’ & ‘no’ pushing & pulling at one another, & no peace for me with either, .. that to write on the subject seemed only a worse manner of thinking of it. In the meantime I have been much obliged to you for your note ever since I received it, & heartily thank both you & the other dear adviser in chief, for sending me so strong & full & early an opinion. I admit too that your note has had its right weight with me, & that since receiving it I have turned my face steadily towards the south, & kept the agitation within me rather in my heart than in my mind. Still it is hard to think of going out of this room to the south of Europe under such circumstances! leaving gravity in Papa’s eyes, & perhaps displeasure deeper within him!– If he should be displeased!– But his manner is most affectionate to me—affectionate in a marked manner & measure!—which indeed was needed to stroke down & smooth a little, my poor ruffled feathers, after that hard cold letter of his. [2] Perhaps he has relented in his thoughts of me! or perhaps, George, (which I conjecture sometimes) perhaps he takes for granted that I have given up my scheme, & his goodnature is meant for my compensation. However this may be, I am making every preparation—& as an opening step, saw Chambers on saturday. And now, guess what he said!– He said, after using the stethoscope, that a very slight affection of the left lung was observable, & which threatened no serious result whatever, if I did but take precautions—that I was comparatively well .. the harm being so slight—& that the long struggle of the morbid part of the constitution to set up an incurable form of consumption was coming to an end, & leaving the life to triumph, if these precautions were used. The pulse he thought somewhat fast—& the nervous system, much shaken, & the muscles covering the lungs requiring strength—and he not merely advised but enjoined the trial of a warm climate, .. naming Pisa. It is the very best thing I could do, he said—& everything in the way of restoration was to be expected from it. He dwelt a good deal on the weakness, which he seemed to consider the chief malady now—but still, he reminded me that in a case like mine, the bad symptoms might be soon beckoned back & that I should take very great care. He forbade wine & malt liquors, & did not say much for animal food. Milk & vegetables are to be my chief diet. Which shows that he is not free from apprehension on certain obvious points—however satisfactory his opinion might be. For the sea-voyage, it is to do me every sort of good he says, & no sort of harm– If I am sick, there is no injury likely to occur. All is sheer gain, & not a risk to be considered!– He rather wished me to go at once, & see Nice on the road! Not that Nice was a place for me to winter at,––(“By no means,” he said,—) but that as early as September I might be there with advantage. Well for Dr Chambers to say, but impossible for me to do! for I have barely heart & courage enough to get away by October in one grand ‘swoop’ of heroism!– Well—what do you say? Write & tell me!– What does Bummy say? And how does she look,—which is still more important, I have the modesty to add. Now write, George, & tell us your Parisian impressions, .. which, reproduced on legal vellum, must be so effective!– Our news here in London is low. Mr Kenyon is still at Dover. I have written this like a race horse .. pawing the air with haste. May God bless you always. Everything is passing, of course, in the most solemn silence,—that is, I am having a new gown made & saying not a word about it. I have written too to Mr Andrews of the steamers, [3] —& the next day of steaming to Leghorn is not fixed. It is likely to be on the third of October, which will suit me.
I have had a proposal from the New York booksellers, [4] to publish a volume of my ‘prose-works’, consisting of the Athenæum papers, & other things .. criticisms on American literature. But they want to do it directly, & I cannot, you see, with the steamer waiting!—& the papers in question require new-writing. Ah—I write as if my heart were at ease—& it is’nt!——
But ever your affectionate Ba.
Set & Occy are gone to Wales. [5]
Address: À Monsieur / Monsieur Barrett.
Publication: B-GB, pp. 135–138.
Manuscript: Pierpont Morgan Library.
1. Dated by EBB’s mention, in this and the following letter, of seeing Dr. Chambers on the previous Saturday.
2. Presumably her father’s reply to EBB’s letter concerning Pisa which her cousin mentions in his journal (Surtees, 25 August 1845). In the entry for the following day, he records: “The Governor consents to poor Ba going abroad but in a way that has left her crying ever since” (Surtees, 26 August 1845).
3. EBB mentions Mr. Andrews here and in letter 2022, but we have been unable to identify anyone by this name. He was probably an employee of the Peninsular & Oriental Steam Navigation Co. which was located at 51 St. Mary Axe; see also letter 2031, note 11.
4. See letter 2128 in which EBB tells Mathews that she would agree to republishing the “prose miscellanies,” including the “Greek Christian Fathers,” if she had time to rewrite them. These essays did not appear in such a form during EBB’s lifetime. After her death, RB collected them, and they were published by Chapman and Hall in March 1863 under the title, The Greek Christian Poets and the English Poets; in New York they were published by James Miller.
5. The original plan had them travelling up the Rhine, but due to a “crotchet” on Mr. Barrett’s part, they went to Wales instead, leaving on 30 August (Surtees, 24, 28, 29 and 30 August 1845).
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