2063. RB to EBB
As published in The Brownings’ Correspondence, 11, 124–125.
Tuesday Mg [Postmark: 14 October 1845]
Be sure, my own, dearest love, that this is for the best,—will be seen for the best in the end– It is hard to bear now—but you have to bear it; any other person could not,—and you will,—I know, knowing you—will be well this one winter if you can, and then—since I am not selfish in this love to you, my own conscience tells me,—I desire, more earnestly than I ever knew what desiring was, to be yours and with you and, as far as may be in this life & world, you—and no hindrance to that, but one, gives me a moment’s care or fear,—but that one is just your little hand, as I could fancy it raised in any least interest of yours—and before that, I am, and would ever be, still silent– But now—what is to make you raise that hand? I will not speak now,—not seem to take advantage of your present feelings,—we will be rational, and all-considering, and weighing consequences, and foreseeing them—but first I will prove .. if that has to be done, why——but I begin speaking—and I should not, I know– Bless you, love!
Tomorrow I see you, without fail. I am rejoiced as you can imagine, at your brother’s improved state.
Address: Miss Barrett, / 50 Wimpole St
Postmark: 3AN3 OC14 1845 B.
Docket, in EBB’s hand: 63.
Publication: RB-EBB, pp. 234–235.
Manuscript: Wellesley College.
1. RB made a bold stroke through the word “why.”