2385. RB to EBB
As published in The Brownings’ Correspondence, 13, 1–2.
Thursday. [Postmark: 28 May 1846]
There is a long four-days more of waiting– I feel more and more and ever more how, wanting you, my life wants all it can have. Dear Ba, never wonder that I fancy at times such an event’s occurrence as you tell me I need not fear. I shall always fear,—never can I hold you sufficiently fast, I shall think. So, if my jewel must be taken from me, let some eagle stoop down for it suddenly, baffling all human precaution, as I look on my treasure on a tower’s top miles and miles inland,—don’t let me have to remember, tho’ but in a minute of life afterwards, that I let it drop into the sea thro’ foolishly balancing it in my open hand over the water. There is one of Ba’s “myths,” excepting all Ba’s felicitousness of application and glory of invention,—but then it has all my own love and worship of Ba’s self, all I care to be distinguished by.
I hope you go out this fine morning—the wind is cold, to be sure. But London is much warmer than this place, and the wind kept off by the houses. I have got two of Mr Kenyon’s kind notes, to confirm the appointment for Wednesday (when Mrs Jameson is to be of the party) and to invite me to meet Landor on Tuesday—so that for three days running I shall be in Ba’s very neighbourhood .. for if the wind can’t get thro’ houses and walls, Ba can and does, as my heart knows. Might I not see you for a moment on the Wednesday? Ah, there will be time to contrive, to concert—but the worst is that when I see you I contrive nothing, nor do you help me, you Ba! Else, out of these walks,—who is to object to my going to see the Thames Tunnel or the Tower,—by way of Wimpole St,—wanting the organ of locality as I am said to do? Whereas I am all one consciousness of the influence of one locality, turning as my whole heart and soul turn, to Ba,—my dearest, dearest, whom may God bless and requite! I can only kiss you, as I do, and be your very own, my Ba, as I am and shall be ever.
Address: Miss Barrett, / 50. Wimpole Street.
Postmark: PD 8NT MY28 1846 B.
Docket, in EBB’s hand: 193.
Publication: RB-EBB, pp. 736–737.
Manuscript: Wellesley College.
1. These images correspond to RB’s comments in the penultimate paragraph of letter 2306.