2509. RB to EBB
As published in The Brownings’ Correspondence, 13, 198.
Monday Mg [Postmark: 27 July 1846]
That is sufficient, ever dearest; now dismiss the matter from your thoughts, as I shall—having forced myself once to admit that most dreadful of possibilities and to provide for it, I need not have compunction at dwelling on the brighter, better chances which God’s previous dispensations encourage me to expect. There may be even a claimant, instead of a recipient, of whatever either of us can bequeath—who knows? For which reason, but most of all for the stronger yourself adduce,—the contingency of your illness,—I do not ask you to “relinquish a part”—not as our arrangements now are ordered: for I have never been so foolish as to think we could live without money, if not of my obtaining, then of your possessing—and though, in certain respects I should have preferred to try the first course, .. at the beginning at least, when my faculties seemed more my own and that “end of the summer” had a less absorbing interest (as I perceive now)—yet, as that is not to be, I have only to be thankful that you are not dependent on my exertions,—which I could not be sure of,—particularly with this uncertain head of mine. I hope when we once are together, the world will not hear of us again until the very end—it would be horrible to have to come back to it and ask its help.
I wish Mr Kenyon had paid his visit—our Tuesday would be safer. I shall be with you unless a letter forbids. I can only say this now, because I expect my visitors nearly directly,—Moxon—Forster, do you remember?– And the post is always late in arriving on Mondays. But I should fill sheets of paper to no purpose if I thought to tell you how I love you—“more than ever”– I am wholly your own, dearest dearest.
Pat Flush for me—after having let me kiss you, Ba!
Address: Miss Barrett, / 50. Wimpole St / Cavendish Square.
Postmark: 8NT8 JY27 1846 A.
Docket, in EBB’s hand: 240.
Publication: RB-EBB, p. 906.
Manuscript: Wellesley College.