2543. RB to EBB
As published in The Brownings’ Correspondence, 13, 262–263.
Monday Mg [Postmark: 17 August 1846]
I come home from Town for my letters .. the two I ventured to expect, and here they meet me– As I said, you had written, and I thanked you then, and now, too, just as if I had been despairing all along—and over and above, there are some especial thanks to pay,—for when I could not otherwise disengage myself from a dinner a little way out of town, .. having unawares confessed to the day’s being at my disposal, .. I said—“I expect letters at home which must be answered”—and here I am–
Or rather, here are you, dearest, .. in, I do think, your dearest mood– I must shift my ground already, alter my moment of time, and avow that it is now I love you the best, the completeliest. Do you want to know how much kindness I can bear? If I ever am so happy as to speak so as to please you, it may be only your own kindness overflowing and running back to you .. I feel every day, often in every day, the regret follow some thought of you,—that this thought, for instance, if I could secure and properly tell you this only, you would know my love for what it is,—and yet that this thought will pass unexpressed like the others! Well, I do not care—rightly considered, there is not so much to regret—the words should lead to acts, and be felt insufficient.
Can we collect then, from Mr Kenyon’s caution, or discretion, or pity, or ignorance, that he will not interpose, and that there will be one great effort, and acknowledgment for all? I should certainly like it so best. You seem stronger than to need the process of preparatory disclosures, now to one, now to another friend– It is clearly best as it is like to be .. for perhaps the chances are in our favour that the few weeks more will be uninterrupted.
My time is gone—and nothing said! For tomorrow, all rests with you .. if the note bids me go, I shall be in absolute readiness—otherwise on wednesday .. just as you seem to discern the times and the seasons.
Bless you my own best, dearest Ba—your own
Address: Miss Barrett, / 50. Wimpole Street.
Postmark: 8NT8 AU17 1846 B.
Docket, in EBB’s hand: 254 [altered from “253”].
Publication: RB-EBB, pp. 971–972.
Manuscript: Wellesley College.
1. Cf. Acts 1:7.