2664. EBB to Henrietta Moulton-Barrett
As published in The Brownings’ Correspondence, 14, 158–163.
Pisa,
Tuesday & Wednesday. March 31 [1847] [1]
Now I am going to give you the best account of myself possible, my ever dearest Henrietta. You shall have a second letter, you, to make up for the last short one, with bad news too in it! This is to be full of good news, with not a shadow across it to spoil the effect. Dr Cook was here yesterday & gave leave to sit up, & even to stand up on my feet & walk a little—the reclining posture to be kept only as the general rule. Not a symptom, he said, was wrong .. everything as right as could be on the contrary—a glass of wine (claret) commanded for everyday .. and I am to be quite able to go to Florence next saturday fortnight according to the first arrangement– But our other plans of course are modified .. for instance we are not to travel northward & pass our summer at Verona– He has advised repose for me at the Baths of Lucca, & after a month or six weeks at Florence (just as the heat may decide) we shall settle for the season at the highest point of the mountain, so as to escape as much as may be from the “company” & the mosquitos, the two great evils to be guarded against– The scenery is said to be exquisite .. & we mean to ride our donkeys & mules (I am to have a donkey with a spanish saddle,) & explore the mountain paths, & clefts of the rocks, & darknesses of the chesnut forest—and we have a plan besides of sitting at the window & blowing soap-bubbles, which will tend to general edification, I think. Dr Cook says that in that situation, there is a continual breeze & freshness, & we never shall feel the heat overpowering– Then, at the end of September, should all be well, there will be no hinderances to a slow northward journeying, a week at Bologna to visit Rossini & so on, till we arrive at Venice in time to winter there, keeping clear of the autumnal damps & malaria– We must see Mr Kenyon, if possible .. that dearest, best friend to us!– When I talk of his being kind, the word seems to mock itself for being so miserably inadequate– A good deal lately, while I have been lying here, I have thought of him & of the noble generous goodness which he has exercised towards me & mine in a manner uncalled for, unsolicited, unexpected. Sympathy was all we asked him for, or thought of receiving—& he gave us head & heart & both warm hands, & thrust himself into most unpleasant positions for a man of his delicacy, rather than lose sight of an interest of mine by one moment’s shrinking. Oh, I have been thinking it all over—And do you know, Henrietta, I did not even encourage his kindness when it showed itself in this form .. I hate so these money-questions .. and I abhorred so the very idea of Papa’s being spoken to on such questions, though relating to my own income– But dear, admirable Mr Kenyon was stopped by nothing– I cannot tell you, you cannot be aware, of the full extent of his goodness & excellence—but I measure it at its height & depth, & am sensible to it with an increasing gratitude. At the same time I thought the other day somewhat bitterly, that if I had died last sunday week, there remained not one member of my family, except himself (& he my relative scarcely more than by name!) to whom my husband could communicate such an end of all. Of course I speak of male relations .. for even an illness, you see, could not be communicated to my own beloved sisters, without running risks which should not be run– But just observe, that there was no one except Mr Kenyon to whom Robert could write in any event, or did write, as the thing happened … not one of all those whom I have tenderly loved & who have professed to love me– Well!– There shall be no word spoken more of it on my part: the choice of the position is not mine, nor ever was. I understand better what Love is .. its necessities & exigencies. But of this, enough– And pray dont think that I was in danger of dying on sunday week—it is only my imagination which suggests cases– Dr Cook assured Robert that there was no danger.– Still the period was so advanced that everybody wonders a little to see me recovering my strength now by handfuls, or heartfuls (a large measure!) & God’s mercy is wonderful in my own eyes– I had no sort of fever .. perhaps some exhausting symptoms at the beginning, prevented the usual fever further on—and, observe, Dr Cook persists in thinking that I shall be infinitely the better on the whole for what has happened, though it might as well have happened four months hence .. Today I walked from the next room to this, all dressed & ringleted, .. & looking in the glass on the road, saw myself a little blanched, but otherwise … rather improved than not. Both yesterday & today, Robert & I had dinner together—& really it was time for me to come back, for he had given up eating ‘tout de bon,’ [2] & I expected him to turn into a shade– He was so dreadfully affected by my illness, as to be quite overset, overcome––only never too much so, to spend every moment he was allowed to spend, by my bedside .. rubbing me, talking to me, reading to me .. and all with such tenderness, such goodness!– Wilson says “I never saw a man like Mr Browning in my life”—and I hear that Dr Cook made a remark to the same effect. How am I to feel, do you suppose? What I always do, … that I am not worthy—only that feeling makes me more grateful than ever– I am bound to him indeed with all the cords of my heart. For several days .. (three ..) I kept one position in bed .. not suffered to move—& indeed I thought of you & wished for you .. I thought of poor dearest Papa, too .. but without taking any different view of what has been & is. Wilson’s sleeping on the sofa in my room reminded me so & still reminds me so of my darling kindest Arabel, that my heart is full when I wake at nights & look that way. May God bless you all, as I love & think of you–
Wednesday
I am going to do my very best to leave off the morphine, but gradually—though it was by no means the cause of anything that happened—on the contrary—I shd have done better by not diminishing it when I did– Only in the sunday crisis, Dr Cook did not dare let me have it all day—& would have been considerably embarrassed he has since told me, if the symptoms had not taken a turn precisely then, to know how to act in such a straight– It would have been highly dangerous either to give or not to give it– So he urges me to take care for the future. Also, the climate, he says, will allow me great facilities for leaving off the opiate, .. & “if he is not mistaken, my late illness will remove the need of it by diminishing the irritation about the chest.” My appetite is good, & sleep, sound .. you have not the least cause for uneasiness, remember. Even Robert is in good spirits now, & we have gone back to our castle building– I was half afraid that I was to be kept “under Dr Cook’s eye” for the rest of my life,—as Robert actually dropped something about our taking an appartment in the same house, at Lucca ....!! Oh, so delightful, that would be! San Ranieri forbid such a consummation! Now, it is not thought of, of course—& we are going to Florence to see the great sights, just as if one of us had’nt been frightened out of his wits– Dr Cook goes to the Baths of Lucca every summer, & most Pisans do the same. This place is untenable in the hot weather. Wilson is much better, thank God, & Lucca will be as good for her as for me. Just before my illness, she seemed unwell & out of spirits, & Robert & I agreed that we would send her home instantly, if she chose to go .. & for some little time I thought it all but a settled thing– Distressing to me of course, the idea of parting with her was—but for her to lose her health through staying, was more intolerable to think of—and also, you know good kind Wilson .. she is excellent, but timid—and I could not say to her as I should have done to my sister .. “Take courage, & look facts in the face bravely–” I did not dare, of course– So I could not say a word in favour of her remaining, though she begged me to decide for her. I told her that her health was the first consideration, & that it was her duty, both to her family & herself, to consider it– So she went to Dr Cook to lay everything before him, & take his final counsel, in expounding to him particularly her fears of the Italian summer. Dr Cook examined her scrupulously, & assured her, at last, that although no human being could be secured against illness in any situation, she was likely to do perfectly well here, if she would but take exercise & attend to her diet. He said that she was by no means a weak person .. that she was in perfect health in every respect but the irritability of the stomach & bilious tendencies .. that the attack she had had was the consequence, not of climate but of sea sickness .. & that her present symptoms were only a form of heartburn. In short, poor Wilson came back with a new prescription & the highest spirits, & decided at once that she wd be delighted to stay– Think how pleased I was—and so was Robert! And ever since she has been growing better & better. Still not able, though, to touch butter or coffee—she is forced to be most abstemious every way, but she looks very well, I never saw her looking better in my life. Since the fatal fire, excommunicated by Dr Cook, we have had none at all. Nobody has a fire now indeed .. the weather is divine– When I am once able to get out in the carriage (& I dare say I shall, by the beginning of next week at any rate) there will be no bounds to the strength I shall gain,—and as it is, we have the window open– The air seems to float its balmy softness into you– Oh, & such air! Observe, that if I am weak again (I think I hear some one saying .. “There! Ba’s weak again, you see”) observe it’s quite a different thing from the prostration arising from disease .. and by the time you get this letter, Ba probably will be strong again .. if God shall please .. the strength returns quite fast, hour by hour– Now do write & let me hear every detail. Tell me of visitors & residents. We have made great discoveries here on the arts of housekeeping & housetaking, & have had our eyes unsealed to the abominable impositions practised upon us. Cheating is systematized in Italy to the most frightful extent, & nobody sees any harm in what everybody does. Foreigners are considered the lawful prey of the natives and the battu[e]s are as frequent as in an English “preserve”. You will be amused to learn that Robert & I are held to be “millionaires” in our neighbourhood, through the sublime indifference with which we have suffered ourselves to be taken in on all sides, .. & that all the letters of apartments have been grumbling around the boastful contentment of our “padrone”. The owner of the house opposite in defence of his own dignity, was obliged to get up & swear that Mrs Browning (mark .. Mrs Browning) had offered him a fabulous price for his rooms if he wd break a prior engagement with Major Loftus’s wife [3] who thereupon being a woman of masculine understanding, (& superstructure besides) walked about Pisa, abusing Mrs Browning in good set terms for being unladylike & the saints know what. Robert was furious, & would write a note & present his compliments & deny the fact broadly. We did not even know that those rooms were to let, till our own were taken and occupied for a full month. It was just a lie of the lodging housekeeper, in order to prove that he might have taken us in, if he had pleased, .. precisely like his honorable friend– And of course I never did anything about taking houses .. as you may suppose. They have cheated us in weights & measures, besides the prices of every single thing,—& we have been paying twice as much as we shd have paid. We hear now that for two hundred & fifty pounds a year, we might & ought to live in excellent apartments, & keep our own carriage & two horses,—& a man servant to boot—and we see how this might be done easily. At Florence too the cheapness is wonderful—only one must understand a little. Wilson opens her eyes at the system of iniquity worked out in such detail, minute by minute. It was that kind Mrs Turner who set us right in these things, & took Wilson round with her to some shops & showed her how to do some small marketings—for as we were going away so soon we would not make a great revolution & fuss—only we take the liberty of buying our own coffee, tea & sugar, in despite of the black looks of our hosts—and when we go elsewhere, we shall take our experience with us–
Yesterday, a priest came in full canonicals to bless all the rooms of the house .. omitting ours on account of our being heretics .. Robert met him in the passage & taking off his hat, desired him not to turn from his usual course on our account, as nobody’s blessing could do anybody any harm. But our hosts observed that it was better so, as the signora was ill! Of course they did not like to throw benedictions away on the prophane!
Do tell me how you get on while I throw you mine .. Oh, I understand so very very well .. though not exactly how Bummy makes up her mind to go to court & present Arlette!—— Why what a conclave of relations will be held in London!– Tell me of the Hedleys, & of <Arabella> [4] Bevan. I have had no further sign of existence from anyone .. not even from Jane. One letter in six months. I really never thought it so easy as I observe it to be now, to let people down into oblivion .. and I shall lie flat & not stir a finger evermore, I do assure you. Ah, how good & perfect you have been to me, you .. my own beloved sisters .. heart & eyes overflow when I think of you! Tell my darling dear Arabel that when Robert said of her note “something in it will make your heart leap,” & I read that Mr Stratten advised her to come & see me, I fell into a muse! .. We should both hold out our arms, & four of them wd be enough to hold her fast. Oh, what a dream! But you must see, dearest Henrietta & Arabel, how foolish & imprudent it wd be for us to go to England this summer. There is the expense, for one thing, of going & returning—for you wd not like me to run the hazard of a winter in England: & then, there wd be bitterness on all sides .. bad enough as it is, but intolerable under nearer circumstances. I cannot help considering myself wronged .. that is my impression: and it could only deepen painfully by a return to England at the present time. Then there wd be no use, except for the glance at your beloved faces .. and we have seen & done nothing yet in Italy of all we have to see & do. Thank you for the dear welcome letters .. thank you both. The next will be from Arabel, & I shall answer it straightway– Tell her to thank Mr Boyd for his kind one– Mr Boyd’s & the crossings, the dear crossings, came when I was ill & Robert read them to me– Not that he reads my letters so in general, mind, .. but that my head swam on that particular occasion & wd not let me read properly. Does Bummy talk of Florence for the winter? or do the Hedleys? Let me hear everything– May it all go smooth for you my dearest Henrietta. I am very glad indeed to hear of Alfred’s success—he will do excellently. The worst of bank occupations is, that you have to begin, & that for persons with a made position to have to begin is unpleasant. Robert has two uncles .. (that is, two half uncles [5] .. some of his aunts & uncles are younger than himself [6] .. through his grandfather’s having married late in life very much in order to disinherit his father [7] ) who are .. one of them, Rothschild’s chief man of business, & the other the head of the English firm at Madrid [8] .. but then, they began early & went through an immense drudgery .. also they are very good linguists—German is of great consequence. I am driven to end here, with heaps of things to say– Tell me if Surtees gets his appointment or has a strong hope of it. Mr Fox Maule [9] Robert knows nothing of. Give my love to Surtees & Susan too. Give my best love to dearest Trippy & ask her to understand that I will write to her as soon as I get a little stronger—& this letter does to take my love to her as well as to you, you know. Her dear, tender letter made me very grateful to her. I feel that she loves me—and I for my part, never shall forget her. Write .. write .. write .. Robert will write soon—but this suffices for today. Love to dear Minny always– Robert’s love always to both of you–
Your own attached
Ba–
Direct Poste Restante, Firenze, Toscana .. via France
Address, on integral page: Miss Barrett / 50 Wimpole Street.
Directive, in RB’s hand, on address panel: Enclose to Mr. Kenyon.
Publication: Huxley, pp. 13–18 (in part).
Manuscript: British Library.
1. Year determined from the Brownings’ residence in Pisa in March 1847.
2. “In earnest,” or “for good,” or “entirely.”
3. Margaret Harriet (née Langrishe), the wife of William Francis Bentinck Loftus (1784–1852).
4. Conjectural reading, due to ink smudge.
5. Actually RB had three half-uncles: William Shergold Browning (1797–1874), Reuben Browning (1803–79), and Thomas Browning (1809–78). The last had left England in 1829 for Tasmania, and he later moved to Melbourne, Australia, where he died.
6. RB had one aunt, Margaret Morris Browning (1783–1858) and six half-aunts: Christiana Browning (1799–1825), Jane Eliza Browning (1800–80), Mary Browning (1805–64), Louisa Browning (1807–87), Jemima Smith Browning (1809–78), and Sarah Browning (1814–1902); only the last was younger than Browning.
7. Five years after the death of his wife Margaret Tittle in 1789, RB’s grandfather married Jane Smith (1771–1848).
8. This is doubtless William Shergold Browning, who had been with the House of Rothschild in Paris until 1846. Reuben Browning was associated with the Rothschilds in London for the whole of his career.
9. Fox Maule, 2nd Baron Panmure and 11th Earl of Dalhousie (1801–74), was “secretary at war under Lord John Russell in 1846–52” (DNB). Presumably Surtees was hoping for some assistance from him in finding a post.
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