3723. EBB to Euphrasia Fanny Haworth
As published in The Brownings’ Correspondence, 22, 93–95.
3. Rue du Colysée.
Monday. [Postmark: 28 January 1856]
Dearest Fanny I cant get over it that you should fancy I meant to “banter” you– If I wrote lightly, it was partly that you wrote lightly & partly perhaps because at bottom I was’nt light at all. When one feels out of spirits, it’s the most natural thing possible to be extravagantly gay—now is’nt it?– And now believe me with what truth & earnestness of heart I am interested in all that concerns you—& this is every woman’s chief concern of course, this great fact of love & marriage– My advice is, be sure of him [1] first, and of yourself chiefly. For the rest I would marry (.. ‘if I were a woman’, I was going to say ..) though the whole world spouted fire in my face– Marriage is a personal matter, be sure, and the nearest & wisest cant judge for you. If you can make up two hundred a year between you, or less even, there is no pecuniary obstacle in my eyes– People may live very cheaply & very happily if they are happy otherwise–
As for me, my only way was to cut the knot—because it was an untieable knot .. & because my fingers generally are not strong at untieing– What do you mean by Mr Kenyon’s backing me? Nobody backed me except the north wind which blew us vehemently out of England. Mr Kenyon knew no more of the affair than you did—though he was very kind afterwards & took my part– And as to money, there was (& is) little enough– It was a case of pure madness, (for people of the world) just like table-moving & spirit-rapping & the ‘Hands’.!
But you, my dear friend .. I do earnestly entreat you to consider if you are sure of principles, sentiments … and of yourself. Because, whether you know it or not, you are happily situated now as far as exterior circumstances are concerned– They are not worth much, but they have their worth. They give you liberty to follow your own devices .. to think the beautiful & feel the noble .. to live out, in short, your individual life, which it is so hard to do in marriage, even where you mar[r]y worthily.
I say this probably, ‘as one who beateth the air’ [2] —yet you must consider that I who say it, & who say it emphatically, consider a happy marriage as the happiest state, & that all pecuniary reasons against love are both ineffectual & stupid.
Flippancy, flippancy, of course– London would be better (for your friends) as a residence for you, than Wirttemberg [3] can be,—& for that, & the other account I could be sorry that you did not settle so.
Well—never mind! The description sounds excellently—almost over-romantic though. Is there steadiness, do you think .. & depth—& reliableness altogether? What impression does he make among those who have known him longest? Dearest Fanny, do nothing in haste–
Now I am going to tell you something which has vexed me, & continues to vex me– The clock– If you knew Robert you never would have asked him. He has a sort of mania about shops, & wont buy his own gloves– He bought a pair of boots the other day, (because I went down on my knees to ask him, & the water was running in through his soles, ..) & he will not soon get over it– Without exaggeration, he would rather leap down among the lions after your glove, as the knight of old, [4] than walk into a shop & buy a clock for you– If I could but go out, there would be no difficulty—but I am shut up in my winter prison, in spite of the extraordinarily mild weather .. through having suffered so much in the beginning of the winter. I asked Sarianna—she also shrinks from the responsibility, … is afraid of not pleasing you &c– The end of it all is that Mrs Haworth will think us all very disobliging barbarians, & that really I am vexed– Why not ask Mrs Corkrane to get the thing for you? You can but ask at any rate.
I am very anxious just now about dear Mr Kenyon who has been alarmingly ill, and is only better, I fear. Miss Bayley wrote to tell me, & added that he was going to Cowes when he could move, which pleases me—for only change of air & liberation from London air can complete his convalescence.
For the rest, I am busy beyond description—but never too much so, mind, dear Fanny, to be glad to get your letters– Write soon–
Your ever affectionate
EBB–
Address: Angleterre– / Miss Haworth / 45. Onslow Square / Brompton / London.
Publication: LEBB, II, 222–224.
Manuscript: Fitzwilliam Museum.
1. Unidentified; Fanny Haworth never married.
2. Cf. I Corinthians 9:26.
3. Sic, for Württemberg (also spelled Wurtemberg, formerly Wirtemberg), a kingdom of southwest Germany, now part of the modern state of Baden-Württemberg. At the time of this letter Württemberg was ruled by King Wilhelm I (1781–1864).
4. A story RB used in “The Glove” (1845).
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