4123. EBB to Isa Blagden
As published in The Brownings’ Correspondence, 25, 25–26.
[Florence]
[late January 1858] [1]
My ever dearest Isa you are too good & too generous, & pay dearly for your qualities– I feel that deeply. Deeply too, my own sense of humiliation, that I have been able to save you from nothing—no, nothing– [2] In fact, that I love you dearly is your additional disadvantage.
At the same time, I do not despair, for all these miserable days– Let us wait a little– You will, for my sake. As for friday, I am not in the humour for Kinneys .. be sure. Oh no– Let us wait & see.
Yesterday I told Robert that Annette was going back, .. but he refused to do his usual spiriting—and, as to riding with her, dont fancy that while this lasts he will consent to do that. He says at least, he is resolved against it. But the cloud will pass, I hope & pray. [3]
How kind of you to send these roses. But they look too pathetic to me just now—too much out of season in all senses.
You are so right, you stand on such high ground, that it must be easy to you to stand patiently where you are. And love me, love me, dearest Isa—let me feel that you do—& that you dont let go the thought of me for all these thorns.
Tables move– Why should’nt hearts? They will, dearest Isa. I know they will.
The Du Caires [4] came last night, & went away with the impression that I was an idiot, of course. And now, I have done with people for the present– May God bless & keep you, dear, dear.
Your ever loving Ba
I love you for all your generosity & goodness—more than I can say today, for this cold has drawn the life out of me, & I sit here feeling like the ghost of myself. Love me, that I may have warmth in my heart. How is Annette? She ought not to stir out of her room—such weather. Dear, I put off Mrs Kinney till it thaws. I shant be up to her till then at soonest. Think– The Arno frozen! & it has not happened since .. —47! [5] Robert is much better, I am thankful to say.
Dearest Isa’s, ever loving
Ba.
Publication: B-IB, pp. 143–144.
Manuscript: Fitzwilliam Museum.
1. Dating based on EBB’s reference to the frozen Arno and to RB’s improved health, both of which subjects are mentioned in letter 4122.
2. Here and below, EBB probably alludes to the ongoing displeasure with Robert Lytton (see letter 4111, note 3).
3. We are unable to explain RB’s refusal “to do his usual spiriting,” though it too may concern Lytton.
4. Sic, for Du Quaires; see letter 4089, note 3.
5. Sic, for 49 (see the first paragraph in letter 2828).
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