4230. EBB to Sophia Eckley
As published in The Brownings’ Correspondence, 25, 207–209.
Maison Versigny– 2 rue de Perrey. Le Hâvre.
[?16] [August 1858] [1]
My dearest Sophie’s letter has lain unanswered for two or three days .. among the rose-leaves of very tender thoughts—but unanswered, unanswered– Have you wondered as I have? But if one is put on the top of a church-spire in a burrasca, [2] & told to write a letter there even to a Sophie, would one write it, I ask.– I ask myself & you– And so it has been with me—on the top of a church-spire in a burrasca .. or something strictly analogical– My sister Arabel & my brother George have arrived from England .. I was giddy with joy & grief from a variety of associations– It was scarcely a distraction that M. Milsand, my husband’s most intimate friend, came to us from Paris. We are all crowded together (including Robert’s father & sister) at our dining-table—and when I do escape from the hum of voices & beat of emotions, I lie on the sofa & shut my eyes & take breath, .. & dont take a pen or a book even. Yet see– Now I must write. I cant let you wait for me, nor can I myself wait– Also the press of the novelty, if not of the crowd, has gone by a little; & I am able to write–
Let me tell my tender-hearted dearly loved sister, that she need not fancy herself guilty of even an unconscious wrong in respect to the picture. Oh no—and my story of the failure was meant simply to make her smile—& “no more at all”– [3] What was desired was a sketch in water-colours, not an oil-painting—& though a failure took place it was understood that some day or other both artist & sitter would try again– [4] There was no kind of crossing in your wish & Isa Blagden’s wish—none—& I am sure that no painful feeling has vexed her on the subject. Why in the world should it? That would have been too absurd. I put the possibility of such a thing out of the question by instantly acceding to the desire expressed that I should “sit”—& the artist’s impotency was the fault of none of us– For the rest Robert & I are delighted that you should be satisfied with that picture. [5] It’s an enlargement of me according to your own fashion, Sophie—& so you ought to approve—but we have tried in vain to get your letter with the first impressions– Robert wrote in vain to the head of the French post-office– Culpâ meà, culpâ meà! I would rend my garments, [6] except for crinoline & European manners– Yes– I “was ’ware” (as the ballads put it) after having posted a certain number of letters in Paris, that I had dated every one of them through some bewildering stupidity, Hotel Hyacinthe, when it ought to have been rue Hyacinthe instead—but I did not know that a letter to you was of this unfortunate number– [7] Robert scolded me at the time for my giddiness—& here’s its punishment, .. that I lose your letter—!—lose it utterly–
But this one is mine– How I thank you for it, dear, dear Sophie– How I see you in it, feel you in it, kiss you in it, darling friend!—my sister– Write another & tell me all. I had the very shadow of the chesnut leaves in the last, while you sate & wrote, dear, & that was very pleasant—for I long sometimes yearningly out of this noisy leafless place, for an hour in the green silence of your forests– My Italy,—how strange & beautiful it looks at a distance! I shall be very glad to get back. Italy means home & something more. This is a strange land, & something less– For Havre has not attractions such as Paris has– Paris always mesmerizes me into new ideas, new sensations, the sense of a new phase of life—but Havre!——well, Havre gives one plenty of salt-water & sea-air .. &, when you drive out, as I did yesterday for the first time, you get into a pretty country certainly, .. kept from us generally at arm’s length by the town. And we have smells here—smells– I doubt if you could bear it for the smells. Take out your smelling-bottle when you think of me, dear– I assure you it’s necessary.
Missing that letter I missed all the first story & explanation of the subscription & its motive—& it’s only by this last letter that I understand what a previous one seemed to hint at so dimly. I do congratulate your generous heart on the happiness you have given– As to the rest .. “look and pass” [8] .. as Dante did– It’s pitiful, but so characteristic. A subscription organized at Lucca; & she not at the head of it! [9] And you imagined she could bear that stroke quietly? There are people (& she is of them) qui derogent, [10] when they dont keep the top line of a subscription-list,—& with whom to give at all except with a flourish of trumpets, is a contre-sens [11] & inconsistency– Therefore I wonder at nothing, not I—not even at the album of donors, & the substitute for the Damascus purse. No—and I dont wonder neither at Sophie’s writing her name at the bottom—the very bottom: I am not to be astonished– Every creature after its kind, [12] holds good, as in Genesis.
You dont say a word of Hume, nor if you have impressions about him & of what character. We read lately in a newspaper that at a seânce at St Petersburgh, not a spirit would speak or move through him. Those suspensions of power are extraordinary– But most extraordinary of all is the unbelief of some persons. For instance here is my sister Arabel who will not believe– I say “will not” with intention– “Cannot” would not do. She is a devout Christian of the common form– She believes nothing of spiritual manifestation out of the Bible, & is a little vexed at what she calls my delusions. Still it is great comfort to me to see her dear face, & to see it looking well & happy.
We talk of Rome for next winter—yes we do.
May God love you dear & loving heart– Write to me.
Who is it who says “Mrs Browning”? Not my sister Sophie surely, surely.
My love to all your party & Peni’s to Do. Peni swims tell Doady.
In truest love your Ba.
Publication: None traced.
Manuscript: Berg Collection.
1. Conjectural date suggested by EBB’s listing of the Brownings’ visitors at Le Havre, which does not include her brother Henry and his wife, Amelia. In letter 4232, dated 25 August, EBB notes that the couple stayed a week. Assuming they left on 24 August would date this letter the 16th or earlier.
2. “Storm.”
3. Revelation 18:14 and 18:21–23.
4. In letter 4221 EBB describes the artist’s failed attempts at a portrait. We have been unable to identify the artist.
5. The one painted by Michele Gordigiani.
6. Cf. Ezra 9:3.
8. Inferno, III, 51.
9. The “she” is Clotilda Elizabeth Stisted (see letter 2853, note 2). We have been unable to determine the nature of the subscription.
10. “Who demean themselves.”
11. “Piece of nonsense.”
12. Cf. Genesis 6:20.
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