394. EBB to Ann Lowry Boyd
As published in The Brownings’ Correspondence, 2, 275–276.
[Hope End]
[?6] [January 1831] [1]
My dear Mrs Boyd,
As you have been so kind as to write twice, to me lately, I must write to you now, tho’ in Annie’s letter. [2] I am afraid I must have seemed (in all your opinions,) weak & inexcusable lately. Weak, I know myself to be on many points—but if you knew all, you might not think the weakness on this occasion, quite inexcusable– If you knew how She has nursed me in sickness & been indulgent to me in health, & loved me always—how she has been considered by us all, as a second—that which we have lost—you could not think so. I cannot recollect that she ever by one act of positive or negative unkindness—by waywardness, or neglect, or any other means, ever for one instant gave me pain. I cannot recollect that—but I must & do recollect all the more than indulgence, the more than love, she has shewn to us—& perhaps, to me in particular. [3] And when I saw from Papa’s countenance, what I did not hear from his words—that it was over—I could not resist the natural grief. I am much better now, thank God,—& do not indeed give up as you seem to think—& my strength seems to be returning surely & steadily. If it had been greater, last week, I could have borne better what it pleased God that we should bear. Could Annie think that I wished her to go away, for our sakes? Our sunshine shall always be shared with hers;—but none of our cloudiness,—if I can help it: May she be quite happy & well next week! Give my best love to her & to Mr Boyd. I suppose they have told you about our hearing from Papa. Believe me dear Mrs Boyd,
affectionately yours.
E B Barrett.
Let me hear whenever you can .. I am apt to fancy that one unhappiness waits upon another—& the long silence (by the fault of the post) made me quite uncomfortable about some of you, till Wednesday–
Address, in Henrietta Moulton-Barrett’s hand, on integral page: Miss Boyd. / Great Malvern—
Publication: None traced.
Manuscript: Pierpont Morgan Library.
1. This letter follows no. 393, as its receipt is mentioned by EBB. She also speaks of not having heard from the Boyds “till Wednesday.” This was 5 January, suggesting the following day for this letter.
2. EBB’s letter to Mrs. Boyd was written on the reverse side, along with address, of one written to Annie Boyd by Henrietta Moulton-Barrett (SD736).
3. EBB was the principal beneficiary of Mrs. Moulton’s will, receiving £4,000 and her jewellery. The residual legatee was Mary Trepsack, Mrs. Moulton’s long-time friend and companion.
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