4258. EBB to Arabella Moulton-Barrett
As published in The Brownings’ Correspondence, 25, 251–254.
6 Rue de Castiglione
Sunday– [17 October 1858] [1]
My beloved Arabel, can you believe of me what I can scarcely believe of myself, that I have lived all this while in this ghost of a house without you—?– Yes, indeed– As soon as you were gone, (all the light out), and Pen and I had sobbed one another quiet, I comforted one side of me by giving directions about the packing. Boxes were filled quickly,—but the day past—& no letter came! And day by day has passed so, & no letter, till we have arrived to this day—and tomorrow morning we go, either at seven or eleven of the clock,—which, is not quite decided—but we certainly go by Mont Cenis– The plan is to travel by express in spite of additional expense, .. sleep at Macon the first night, & at Chambery the second,—on the third probably at Lanslebourg, & at Turin on the fourth–
I have your letter my dearest dear Arabel. Oh what joy to have news of you. For the vexation of not going, was rendered more vexatious by the vague in which I imagined I should have to remain in regard to you. Well-inspired you were to send that letter to Sarianna– She was kind enough to come to me with it at once, & it is’nt unkind of me to add that never was I so glad to see her. But Arabel, what a journey—what a voyage!– Dear, darling, what a trial for you all alone!– What a price for all the comfort & joy I had from you & through you during these seven weeks. Let me thank you, tenderly, from my soul– You cannot know even if I were to try to tell you, what you have done for me—so I will not try. May God bless you, may God love you, may God crown you with love–
We shall go to England next year—we shall—and, if not, you & George will remember your several promises. It was an oath on both your sides–
And now, darling, if you love me (as I know you do a little) take care of yourself, & dont go back to your work with a zeal to burn up soul & body at once.
How I have enjoyed these last three weeks in Paris with you– I had you to myself so much– Ah—I must not dare to think of it– I must not–
Write often, often, to me, & tell me everything—of the Refuge, of the Strattens, of everything that interests you—and of dear Minny– My love to her. Did she think the photographs like?
I am writing this like a horse galloping,—while Peni is the poney, cantering by my side– When you were gone he threw himself into my arms, to comfort me, but could only sob for his own part– Yes, he loves you–
Let me see what I have to tell you of our doings, less sad than that. In the first place– My bonnet came home very, very pretty—but as there was something I wanted changed, I went the next morning to have it done & to pay for it, Annunciata & Peni going with me,—& Robert gave me two napoleons [2] for the purpose. On our arrival at the Modiste’s, … purse gone!– Dropped in the street! Imagine the agreeable surprise!– So I had to retrace my steps in a deep state of humiliation– Penini full of compassion, proposed my waiting in a shop, while he ran on to “tell Papa & get it over”—& when I objected that “we must confess our own sins”, .. “no,” said he, “I wont let you– I’ll be the priest this time!” So, off he ran full speed, & by the time I reached the door of our apartment, there was Robert perfectly magnanimous & forgiving, coming to pity & bring more money. It was very, very good of him– Still, as I say, he is human, & I expect to [be] reminded of it three times a day to the Day of judgement–
Since then, I have been out buying last purchases, generally under guardianship– Twice, Sarianna arrived just as I was going out, & so accompanied me. Once, Robert went himself– I have bought a warm petticoat—“English”—red & black—twelve francs, & a pretty parasol, ten francs. Robert has bought an artist’s manikin—& an opera-glass, single, of great power for 30 francs–
As soon as ever you had turned away the light of your face we had a change of weather, not for the worse but the better– Instead of sharp bright air we had to have the warmest, softest, brightest air—skies as blue, together with the temperature of June,—think of that! So hot it is, that I have had to pull out summer jackets again,—there is no wearing anything thicker– People talk of being “oppressed with heat”– Strange, at this time of year. If it will but prevent the snow gathering on Mt Cenis, I shall be thankful.
Mary Hunter has been here everyday, & dined with us once– I have had a good deal of conversation with her as to doctrine & discipline ecclesiastical– She said among the rest, that the continental mode of keeping sunday, is considered by them nearer the right than the English [3] —and when I objected [to] your report, &c &c, she told me that it was correct so far as referred to the number of religious services,—but that, the services being accomplished, Mr Owen (for instance) read Pickwick on sunday evenings– I thought I would tell you.
M. Milsand had some private talk with me yesterday, & told me that he was particularly pleased with you—& that what struck him in you was the union of gentleness with decision– A very correct observation–
Here we end– Robert & I thank you from the bottom of our hearts (& that is love) for all your dear tender words. May God love you–
Your own loving Ba–
Pen is ashamed of his blotted letter, & so am I—but he wrote, he says, “in such a haste!”
The spirits kept saying something of a “journey” & “terrified,” I cd read so much only & did’nt somehow refer it to yours– We must go tomorrow for the apartment is let from that morning. Robert has had a horrible cold—which has made me tolerate the delay in travelling.
Publication: EBB-AB, II, 366–368.
Manuscript: Berg Collection.
1. Dated by reference to EBB’s remark, “tomorrow morning we go.” The Brownings left Paris for Italy on 18 October 1858, a Monday.
2. At this time in France, 2 napoleons equalled 40 francs, which amount was equivalent to approximately 1 pound, 12 shillings.
3. Since the passing of the Lord’s Day Observance Act in 1781, England had limited the number of commercial activities that could be pursued on Sundays. Continental Europe, on the other hand, was more relaxed in its observance of the Sabbath. The “religious services” under discussion here are those of the Catholic Apostolic Church, of which Henry John Owen was a minister (see letter 3003, note 27) and Mary Hunter, evidently, a member. She had earlier served as governess in the Owen household.
___________________
