4432. EBB to Sophia Eckley

As published in The Brownings’ Correspondence, 26, 192–193.

[Florence]

Monday—before you come. [20 June 1859] [1]

My ever dearest Sophie will read this when I am not near her, but she will know then as now that I love her truly, & must think of her all the more that I shall miss her so much. May God bless her & keep her, & make her happy as I would have her be.

For the rest, dearest Sophie, I will not try even to say here what my feeling has been & is for all your dear goodness & affection to me during these many months of our being so near one another. You would exclaim at my telling you that I have felt humiliated often, while touched always—and yet this is the simple truth—you have done too much for me, thought too much of me– I have had to be on my guard against your kindness, as I might be against other people’s malice–

Not that obligation towards you is a burden to me, but that it is founded on an exaggerated apprehension of what I am——yes, indeed– If you could see me as I am & yet love me, I should be much easier.

Now sit under the trees & think of me sometimes, & let it always be as of one who is tenderly yours

Ba–

Give my love to Fanny– [2] And dear Mr Eckley, how good he is– And dear Doady! You will have a beautiful green summer good for you all, & only I shall be the worse for it–

Publication: None traced.

Manuscript: Berg Collection.

1. Dated by Mrs. Eckley’s annotation in her album of EBB’s letters: “Parting word from Florence—we going to Lucca” (ms at Berg). The Eckleys left for Bagni di Lucca on or about 21 June, as indicated by EBB’s letter addressed to her there, in which she mentions attending Abimelech (see letter 4436, note 9).

2. i.e., Frances Augusta Eckley (see letter 4092, note 9).

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