4819. EBB to Eliza Anne Ogilvy
As published in The Brownings’ Correspondence, 28, 297–299.
126. Via Felicè. Rome,
Tuesday. [29] Jan. [1861] [1]
My dear dear friend it has not been easy for me to write– I never can write or speak– I am congealed by grief always, & the tears which come to nearly everybody will not come to me–
If the touch of a tender hand could help me … oh, I know all your goodness. But I have sate here through two heavy months in the silence which was best for me, & have not doubted that you, when you knew the whole, would not think hardly of me for not answering your letter.
Now let us talk of other things. Dear—I put the past not behind me but before, where I shall find it again after—perhaps not many days– I believe I am without excuse, in suffering more than I ought in these apparent separations; knowing, as I seem to do, that they are only apparent, that what we call death, does not change the personality or the individuality even, & that even on this earth there is union & access. I have a distinct persuasion on these points,—and yet when a shock comes, it shakes,—I catch out at a forsaken garment & get bewildered between the Seen & Unseen. [2] Only the Divine stands steadily with one foot on the sea & one on the land—and we placed suddenly between the natural & the spiritual, seem to slip & lose our Beloveds .. whom we do not lose, as Christ lives.
Forgive me– I am always trying to explain to myself & others how it is that I do not believe in loss & yet am overwhelmed as if by loss. But I am inconsistent & very weak .. “without excuse,” as I began by saying just now.
Now you will write me another letter all about yourselves– I want to hear that you are easy at last about those dear to you– The Chinese situation [3] must have been painful—but now I do hope that you are not anxious, & that the arrival from India has brought you freedom from uneasy thoughts. [4] Tell me too of the children—of dear Louisa—& of Mrs Ogilvy who had not been well when you wrote this letter.
We are in sunny rooms, too high up, but it is quiet .. which I care for chiefly– Robert has been very good in keeping people off, so that I have had repose, & have learnt to live again as we all must– To break out of the narrow personal life into the larger & higher, is the only secret of satisfaction in this world—and I have begun again to do it & to work a little in the healthy way–
There has been & is some cause for anxiety in the Neapolitan states, through the inferiority of the population & the virulence of parties: Mazzini stayed there too long. With all this, however, the evils have been exaggerated, and the principle of union will be strong enough to triumph– The French fleet at Gaeta did far less harm than has been supposed. If Francis II had fallen under the first shock of revolution, there was imminent danger of North & South Italy falling in two. This I have heard from intelligent thinkers who had opportunities of observation at Naples. [5]
In Rome the intention plainly is to let the rotten fruit hang till it drops. The papacy is being starved out financially– Presently the French will go out & the Piedmontese come in: both quietly too. Within these few days I have seen Sir John Bowring, (who was in China—& began life as a disciple of Bentham—very liberal accordingly, & learned in governments) & he assures us, having intimate knowledge of the Emperor Napoleon, that never for a moment has he faltered in his good intentions towards Italy, & that whatever has seemed equivocal has been either misapprehended, or caused by a misapprehension, his difficulties both in clerical France & Europe being immense. I did not require this testimony, but I give it to you for what it is worth.
The dry bones shake [6] throughout the world—& even in America, see how things are– My only fear is that the north will compromise, which will be fatal to the moral life of the nation, only threatened so far in her natural life. When the burden of slavery is thrown off, she will arise up & go forward–
Tell me if you comprehend the Oxford movement (expressed in the [“]Essays &c”) [7] & what you think of it– We want a blast of free air through the churches, & a sweeping away of traditional forms—but I am afraid, from what I can catch & understand, (I have not read the book) that the thinkers there have let go too much to hold so much.
I have not seen Gibson yet—but Robert says he looks well– Penini has his poney here & his abbé– I am weak in body & in spirits—but one must bear on– At least the spring will come. May the bitter weather in England not have hurt you & yours. What of the hooping-cough? May God bless you– Robert’s love—with that of your
ever affectionate & grateful
EBB.
Ah– dearest friend! the children!– You will understand how I have seen my own child’s face through a mist, since then!–
No– Arabel pleaded hard for the little girl .. one lonely little girl—but she was refused by the poor father. He could not, he said– I mean to try again presently, both for the child’s sake & Arabel’s who longs to have it– There is a governess at present–
Publication: EBB-EAHO, pp. 166–169, as [22] January [1861].
Manuscript: Eton College Library.
1. Year provided by EBB’s reference to “the French fleet at Gaeta”; day based on her mention of seeing Sir John Bowring “within these few days” (she also mentions his visit in letter 4815) and her reference to the “intelligent thinkers” (see note 5 below).
2. Cf. II Corinthians 4:18.
4. Mrs. Ogilvy’s youngest brother, Alfred Abercromby Dick (see letter 4130, note 2), “served throughout the campaign of 1860 in China, including the action of Sinho, capture of the Taku Forts, actions of Chankeawhan and Palichau, and surrender of Pekin (Medal with two Clasps)” (The New Army List, 1873, p. 379a).
5. One of EBB’s informants was Edward Dicey (see letters 4808 and 4809); the other was probably Mme. Schwabe (see letter 4823).
6. Cf. Ezekiel 37:4.
7. Essays and Reviews (1860), a widely read and highly controversial collection of seven essays written by leading Oxford intellectuals and liberal churchmen, including Benjamin Jowett (1817–93).
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