465. EBB to Hugh Stuart Boyd
As published in The Brownings’ Correspondence, 3, 54–55.
Sidmouth.
Sept. 4th 1832.
My dearest friend,
How could I think that you should be angry at my not going to see you? You certainly dont appear to be in the least angry, and I must own my mistake in thinking any thing of the kind.
You acquit me, but you lay upon others a heavy weight of blame. You are right in acquitting me, and in believing that had it been in my power I would have remained at Bath for the purpose of seeing you. I would have done so, both because to have seen you once more, would have given me satisfaction, and because I do not like to make you angry,—and I know well that any apparent want of attention, even from persons to whom you are indifferent, is apt to make you angry. You must allow me to say, that in being angry on this occasion with anybody, you are not as just, as, with your clear headedness and power of judging, you always ought to be. Fifteen of us, and two carriages were at the Bath Hotel,—and we could not have remained a day longer at it, without some expence. People do not incur expense without an object, and what would have been Papa’s? To do me good,—or to do you good? Was he likely to think, that seeing you & wishing you good bye on the same day, would have done me any real good? And had he much reason for thinking that you would care enough about seeing me, for him to be justified in increasing by at least eight or nine pounds, his already large expences, that you might see me?
I do not like mentioning the word expence,—but you mentioned it yourself on another occasion, when the object was not, to be in our neighbourhood for merely a few hours: and it is necessary for Papa to do everything just now in the cheapest manner, with his large family, and the call which there has been lately upon him, for ready money. It may seem to you incredible,—but a hundred pounds worth of wood, in the bare material,—has been used in making only the rough packing cases for furniture. As to Papa’s intending any slight, any want of attention to you, by “directing or permitting” us to pass thro’ Bath without seeing you, do not suppose it!—— We passed my uncle’s place at Frocester, [1] within three miles,—and yet he had asked us to visit him on the road. We might have gone through Frocester on our way to Bath,—& yet we did not go. You cannot suppose that any want of attention was intended towards Mr Clarke.
Papa told my aunt that if we had left Hope End earlier in the summer, he might have gone to Tenby for a few months, & spent the winter in Bath.
I did not mean to write to you so soon again. Writing so often will be worse than writing so long, as you have to pay for it. But I dont like the feeling of your being angry and of my saying nothing—therefore you see you must be patient under the consequences of your injustice. My best love to Mrs Boyd & Annie.
Yours affectionately
E B Barrett.
My aunt is still with us,—but I am afraid she thinks of moving soon. Papa is to arrive this week.
Address, on integral page: H S Boyd Esqr / Bath Hampton / Bath.
Publication: EBB-HSB, pp. 197–198.
Manuscript: Wellesley College.
1. John Altham Graham-Clarke and his wife Mary, of Kinnersley Castle, had a second seat at Frocester, Gloucestershire.
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