805. EBB to George Goodin Moulton-Barrett
As published in The Brownings’ Correspondence, 5, 34–35.
[Torquay]
Thursday. [15 April 1841] [1]
ever Dearest Georgie
It is a pleasure to open one’s heart—and for no other reason do I write my first minutes thoughts of your kindest letter to Paper Buildings where the freedom may lie between you & myself—& nobody else. The truth is, I am more troubled about this Black Mountain scheme [2] than lately I have fancied it possible for me to be about any temporal circumstance of that kind—and join with you in devoutly wishing that the illusion may be dispelled by the sight. Suppose the contrary to be the case—what will happen then?– Why that the only comfort I have dared to hope for must come to an end, & we be no longer together– You are bound to London by your profession—and unless our brothers quench the energies of their lives in hunting & fishing, they must necessarily be away too .. while I leave you to judge what possible human chance there can be for me to bear rough roads & the distance from medical advice—look as far as you can into the future. If our home shd be fixed there, it is the knell of my perpetual exile—seems so at least—& I must be anxious until the risk of the stroke be past–
I am sure my dearest Papa wd be far happier in the end, by disposing of whatever money he has—to spend, in the purchase, for his sons, of shares or partnerships of whatever business may be suited to their inclination & capacity. Of course no one cd suggest it to him—but he wd, I am persuaded, be happier in witnessing their establishment, than in reigning alone at the top of a mountain where their society could neither cheer him, nor his hand help them.
Dont fancy that I am worrying myself!– Oh no!– But I have been ruffled & uneasy in a measure about this business for some time—long before your letter came—from hints in Sette’s. By the way, is not Sette advising in this matter? I wish Papa wd ask me. No—I dont–
I am not up yet George. Dr Scully does not permit it until the sun shall seem inclined to tarry; & in the mean while I am going to lie for my picture!: Indeed it’s true. You know I always meant to do it,—to undergo it,—in the case of any lady painter visiting this place—& the circumstance occurring, she is to be admitted to my bedside tomorrow. [3] Four interviews will suffice—& four headaches will be well endured, shd the result be anything which my own dear Papa can have pleasure in looking at. Of course it is for him—a reflection of the kindness he spent upon me last year. [4]
It is so long since I saw a stranger that I shrink at the thought of the woman’s coming tomorrow—even apart from her errand. And a beautiful picture will conclude all!—at least, if she succeed in making a likeness of the white shadow of this face.
Now keep my secret, George. My plan is, to send the picture to London by the post—as a surprise—supposing Papa to be there then. A miniature-painting, it will be.
Oh—may we be free soon from this night-mare of Black Mountains!– Tell me all you hear. The removal of our home from London wd be lamentable to me under any local advantage—but these Black mountains are black indeed!–
God bless you ever & ever, my dearest dearest George! I loved you always—but since your last visit here I have loved you most– You will easily gather how the love deepened–
Your
Ba.
Henrietta had a luncheon party here today. She goes out a good deal– I wonder she can bear it, much less like it—but one heart cant judge for another– Say nothing of this—nor indeed of any thing else spoken by me today. God bless you George—dearest! I am so glad you liked the chain.
Address: George Goodin Barrett Esqr / 3. Paper Buildings / Temple / London.
Publication: B-GB, pp. 56–58.
Manuscript: Pierpont Morgan Library.
1. Postmarked 16 April 1841; the previous day was a Thursday.
2. The Black Mountains are in Wales, east of Brecon. EBB’s father was contemplating taking a place there, presumably in the belief that the higher altitude would be good for EBB’s health.
3. The result was a painting by Matilda Carter, who had a studio at 122 Leadenhall St. in London. She had exhibited a “Portrait of a Lady” at the 1839 Royal Academy exhibition. Her portrait of EBB (reproduced as the frontispiece to this volume) formed lot 1410 of Browning Collections (see Reconstruction, F11) and is now at the Robert Browning Settlement.
4. In giving EBB his own portrait (see letter 738).
___________________
