820. Mary Russell Mitford to EBB
As published in The Brownings’ Correspondence, 5, 61–63.
Three Mile Cross
June 20, 1841.
I have not written to you, my beloved friend, because until to-day I could have given you no pleasure. I have been very ill, but I am now getting well. Did I tell you that just before I took to my bed I drove out with K_____ [1] for a few miles?—very ill then. About four miles from home one of the traces came undone. The horse (an old Irish thoroughbred) feeling the trace beat against his side, began kicking; and the splashing-board of our little chaise being very high, so that he could do no harm, galloped off at a speed such as few horses could have exceeded. He trod upon the trace and broke it—a fresh jerk and an additional fright. We met men, ten or twelve; we passed a turnpike-gate, but the men flew from us as we passed; the gate was flung open (wisely, or the horse, an excellent leaper, would have taken it), and for a mile and a half we had as close a view of death as has happened to many people. K_____ behaved bravely. She gave me the whip, or rather I took it from her, and wound the reins round her arms to increase her power. At last, the remaining trace brought the collar into such a position as to half choke the horse; and a boy driving a donkey across the road, we stopped—I so frightened that I could not stand. We were forced to be tied up with string and led home. If I had not been ill I should have stood it better; as it was, I kept it from my father till next day, when it became necessary to tell him for fear he should hear it from another. And since then I have been very ill, or rather, I was very ill, and now I am getting better. But I have not sent for Mr. May. I very seldom do; it frightens my father.
After all, a wretched life is mine. Health is gone; but if I can but last while my dear father requires me; if the little money we have can but last; then it would matter little how soon I, too, were released. We live alone in the world, and I feel that neither will long outlast the other. My life is only valuable as being useful to him. I have lived for him and him only; and it seems to me, God, in His infinite mercy, does release those who have so lived, nearly at the same time. The spring is broken and the watch goes down. Have you not seen it so?
I have been reading Mr. Blanchard’s life of poor L. E. L. [2] When looking into the chronology you will be struck with the closeness of the two events—the acceptance of Mr. McLean and the other affair of the rejection. [3] There was another, too, about the same time, Mr. C_____ [4] tells me. Then Mr. Blanchard alludes to the scandals of different persons (I don’t remember the words, but they implied scandals regarding more than one), and the very manner in which our very slight intercourse is mentioned proves that there was a dearth of female friends. She had written to ask me to write something for somebody, and apologised for addressing me as “My dear Miss Mitford.” I, of course, replied, as you will see. [5]
Poor thing! The book is to me deeply affecting. She was a fine creature thrown away; and just when that mysterious event occurred there seemed to me more hope and chance of happiness, and more development of power, and (which is more important than either) a greater chance for goodness and usefulness than there had ever been before. Poor thing! Nothing seems to me so melancholy as the lives of authors—Sir Walter Scott, Mrs. Hemans, this of Miss Landon. I hardly know an exception. And these are the successful! Heaven bless you!
Ever yours,
M. R. Mitford.
Address: Miss Barrett, Torquay.
Text: L’Estrange (2), III, 117–119.
1. Miss Mitford’s maid, replacing Martha. Always referred to in the correspondence as “K,” she was named Kerenhappuch, after the third of Job’s daughters (Job, 42:14). In 1844, she had an illegitimate child, and was dismissed, but Miss Mitford took her back the following year, and she stayed in service until Miss Mitford’s death in 1855.
3. A reference to Miss Landon’s having broken off her engagement to John Forster.
4. Doubtless Chorley. He may have told Miss Mitford about the rumours of an affair between Miss Landon and the Irish poet and journalist William Maginn (1793–1842), the prime reason for the breaking of the engagement to Forster (see DNB), or of the linking of her name with that of William Jerdan (see letter 727, note 22).
5. In Blanchard’s Life of L.E.L., Miss Mitford is quoted as replying: “My dear Miss Landon, I do not address you as a stranger because I cannot think of you as one” (I, 265).
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