851. EBB to Mary Russell Mitford
As published in The Brownings’ Correspondence, 5, 124–125.
50 Wimpole Street
Monday Sept 13th [1841] [1]
My ever beloved friend,
The first line written by my hand in this dear home is, as it shd be, written to you. I arrived on saturday just after post time—& yesterday being sunday there were no means, you know, of passing a letter upon it. I cd only read over & over your letters, & thank & bless you for them!
I write only a line. I am tired of course, with a sense of being thoroughly beaten,—but bad symptoms have not occurred—at least the spitting of blood increased very little in proportion to what might have been expected—and the whole amount of God’s mercy to me is told in the fact of my being here. “How great is the sum of it”! [2] Here—with Papa—in the midst of all left! No more partings—nor meetings which were worse!—almost much worse, sometimes! I thank God for the undeserved mercy!–
For the rest, there was of course much to remember & suffer both in leaving Torquay & coming here. But my weakness helped to spare me—and now, I try to be alive only, or most, to the sense of blessing.
Thank you thank you for your too much kindness!– The precious ringlet! [3] It might serve, as far as the preciousness goes, to hold a city by—only being cut off, it is precious still. The fable ends there—and the truth begins. And is’nt it truth that I love the least part of you?–
You say too much—far too much! It’s all too much kindness. Give my love to dear Dr Mitford. How close we are now!—and how I wd say a hundred other things which I cant!–
Goodbye– God bless you!
Dont you know that Martinuzzi has perished. [4] I fear so–
Ever your
EBB–
Publication: EBB-MRM, I, 273–274.
Manuscript: Wellesley College.
1. Dated by EBB’s return to London.
2. Cf. Psalms, 139:17.
3. The lock of hair requested by EBB in letter 843.
4. EBB is a little premature in her comment; despite a disastrous first night (see letter 854), the play was kept in the repertory for a month after its 26 August première.
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