Tuesday. Oct 25th.
Annie & Arabel & I were off at eleven. We were very nearly off in a less satisfactory manner; inasmuch as we discovered the insecurity of the iron rim round one of the wheels. Stopped at the Bartons, to save our lives. Miss Glasco superintended, very kindly. I like her. She called me her pet today, & “could not help treating me still as a child”. I like her: but I am not sure that I could love her—even if I were to try!—which I dont mean to do.
Another interruption was a note from Mrs. Martin, received just as I was getting into the carriage, & saying that she wd. dine with us. So we must be back before six!--
Arrived at Malvern at nearly one—& soon went into Mr. Boyd’s room. Miss Boyd was sitting with him, reading the paper,—& held up her hands in an interjectional manner on seeing me. “Who is that?” asked Mr. Boyd. “Whom do you think?” And then I spoke!— He seemed very very glad to see me, & was very very kind in his manner, & reproached me for not “making Ann come before”. What did he mean by saying in his letter yesterday that he did not deserve my regard—that he was not sufficiently kind & attentive to me? There is only one way in which he can be unworthy of it—by its’ not being reciprocal; & if I cd. get general benevolence out of my head, I wd. not believe in that species of unworthiness. With regard to his being inattentive & unkind to me, I wd. not hear his enemy say so; & why shd. I hear him?— If he wd. but write to me oftener & more at length!!-- I did not comment upon his letter before him. I could not do that.
We read Gregory—a part of the funeral oration on his father:[1] and we talked about what is called the times for the maturity & the decay of the intellectual faculties. I denied the whole hypothesis. As if man’s mind were man’s body, & had its three warnings!!— Sir Uvedale Price[2] was as eloquent and imaginative at eighty—more so, in every probality [sic]—than he was at eighteen. And at sixty he first became an author.
It is very dangerous to hold such a doctrine; for to despond about the strength of one’s mind, is to diminish its strength. Such a doctrine wd. do more actual harm at fifty, than the weight of ninety years cd. do, without it!—
Mr. Boyd confessed to me that he thought his translation of a part of the oration which we read today, translated at the age of 22, was well done.[3] “He might say so to me”!!—
I do not infer from that little circumstance, but from many, that his confidence in me is really the confidence of a friend. He evidently thinks loud out before me!--
I went out of the room for a few minutes while he went to dinner; but I was recalled before his dinner came to a conclusion. He wd. not mind dining before me!—And we talked until past 5. Then over the hill & far away!— I do hate saying good bye … to some people!—
I did not feel very well today, & could scarcely help bursting into tears while I was reading Gregory. One passage in it made me think of the beloved & gone!—
Mr. Curzon is to be at Ruby Cottage again on Thursday.
Arabel & I had a pleasant drive home, only half in the dark. Mrs. Martin ready for us. Guitaring in the eventing,—& no other memorabilia. Mrs. M slept here.
1. Oration 19 (GNO, I, 286–316).
2. Sir Uvedale Price, Bt. (1747–1829), who sought E.B.B.’s opinion and advice regarding his Greek writings.
3. The exordium and the peroration of Gregory’s “Funeral Oration in Praise of His Dead Father” appeared in H.S.B.’s Select Passages, 2nd. edn. (London, 1810), pp. 156–173.
