Sunday. August 21

All gone to Church, except me; and I am going .... to finish Jewel.

Mrs. Cliffe & Eliza came to have luncheon during our dinner. Mrs. Cliffe investigated the picture, & pronounced it to be extremely like. It is not likely at any rate. She took me down to the gate in the back seat of her carriage, Bummy driving,—& we had the satisfaction of seeing Mr. Curzon’s congregation augmented by several of the Colwall people—not by Mrs. Martin. His text was from Amos “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?”[1] The first part very good,—the latter part straggling, & heavy besides.

A note from Mrs. Boyd, to say that somebody has formed an attachment for Annie, & that, in consequence, somebody’s Mama, wishes her to be sent home.[2] I was foolish enough, to make a report of this note to Bummy: & now, more items are put down to poor Annie’s flirtibility.

I am very much afraid that she will trifle away her ultimate happiness. May it be otherwise! Mrs. Boyd says “I have not told Mr. or Miss Boyd of the reason of her returning sooner”. Mr. or Miss Boyd! An extroardinary [sic] manner of introducing Mr. Boyd’s name: & an extraordinary silence to preserve towards the father of her child!—

I cant help being pained by Mr. Boyd not writing to me, & not sending even a message in Mrs. Boyd’s note. Probably he did not know about her writing; but then he might have thought of writing himself — — he might have been anxious to see me, when soon he may be able to see me no more. I dare not trust myself to dwell on these points. One thing is too clear.

This week may decide, perhaps must decide, everything. If I can go to Malvern tomorrow, I will go. Only a little more strength of mind—a little more power of self controul,—& it will all be over. God give me strength & power!— I have not felt at all well today, with an occasional pressure at the heart, & sickness.

Better, however, now: & I must try to keep so.

No letter from Papa: at least none that I know of.

Finished Jewel, & admire Jewel, & will read some parts of Jewel again, if I live much longer. He is very eloquent & energetic & learned; & well worth reading. His reference to the councils, are tedious & heavy .. to me.

1. Amos iii.3.

2. As Annie was staying at Stanwell, the seat of Sir John Gibbons, the inference is that Lady Gibbons was attempting to nip in the bud any romantic attachment between Annie and one of the unmarried Gibbons boys,—either Richard (then 24) or Joseph (18).


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