Sunday March 11th.
I was not at church,—& B H & A only half way there. A letter from Mr. Boyd brief enough, but to ask me to ask Papa to allow me to go to R C on Monday & stay until Thursday; for the sake of writing his digamma essay for him. Miss H M has an inflammation in one of her eyes!— Now I wish very very much to go; but am very very much afraid of asking.
I asked Papa in the evening. He will not allow it. He says that I am turning into a shadow, & looking worse & worse,—& that he will not be a party to giving me any fatigue. I assured him that writing for Mr. Boyd cd. not fatigue me so much as what I do every day at home. He told me that if I liked to hold a pistol to my head—ainsi soit il—but that he wd. not have anything to do with it.
I dont exactly know why. Only it would have been a pleasure to me to have gone there, knowing that I was not in the way.
