Diary by E.B.B.

Well! It is a fine, windy day—& Mrs. Cliffe not come! She thinks I suppose all of the wind, & nothing of the fineness! Provoking!— A message is sent to Charlotte Peyton!— It may rain tomorrow! Provoking!— But she may come after all, for it is only just eleven.

A cloudy day again. Nobody will go, except me; & I cant go. But I can & will go on Monday, that is, if I am well—et cœtera!--

To church, & heard a bad sermon of Mr. Deane’s for the second time. Persuaded Mrs. Martin to try Mr. Curzon again. When I had heard his text “God commended his love for us &c”[1] I thought that all her trials were over! But she liked him moderately better. The Cliffe’s dined with us of...

Arabel is very amiable & goodtempered. She gave up the point of going, earnest as she was about it, & not sullenly—for she wrote a note which I took to Annie. I did not leave home until 20 minutes past 8, intended to be 20 minutes past 7. Went by the Wyche, & found Mrs. Boyd at the exordium of...

Gent has gone for the letters: what will be in them? If Papa writes, we shall all be scolded I know, for our silence. Bro’s letter to him, shd. have gone on Friday instead of yesterday.

Eliza Cliffe came to help Henrietta to bind music. I wd. not be bound to help her. An unsatisfactory day: my politeness drawing me one way & my studiousness another.

Eliza went away soon after breakfast; & Bummy & Henrietta went away soon after her, to call at the Bartons. I begged Henrietta to close with any proposition made by Mrs. Griffith on the subject of taking me in her carriage tomorrow as far as Mr. Boyd’s. Eliza promised to try to persuade Mrs....

Mr. C stayed all night. Before breakfast this morning, I was writing a letter to my dear Papa, which must go today. At breakfast, Miss Peyton’s poney arrived to enable Arabel to ride to Malvern. Very goodnatured in Miss Peyton!— Altho’ Mrs. Griffith did not actually offer me a seat in her...

They did not come. Provoking! Now I shall not be able to go to Malvern on Monday. I had made up my mind to write, & had even sealed my letter to Mrs. Boyd, praying her to remember that by not coming or writing, she was keeping me at home. But Henrietta wished to send Billy to the Bartons instead...

At breakfast Arabel called upon me to divulge the secret. How angry Bummy was!— I “ought not to have received such a confidence!”— Now how could I help it? I am NOT to blame. I never solicited, but cd. not reject, much less cd. I abuse Mr. Curzon’s confidence. I can only regret its...

Arabel says that Mrs. Boyd is sure not to ask me to do what I want to do: If she does not, I must call up my philosophy from the shades. It is five minutes to eleven, & she has not arrived. Perhaps there may be no room for me in the carriage. Perhaps Miss Bordman may not come, & then there will...

Went to Malvern with Ann, & Billy as an Automaedon,[1] according to Mr. Boyd. Everybody in bed. Mrs. Boyd “motioned” me into her room. & there we discussed Mr. Biscoe, the probability, of a letter arriving from him that day, & the possible nature of its contents. Mrs. B doubted his faith. I...

Annie & I slept together last night, & she described to me enough of the state of her mind while she was at Stanwell, for me to feel confirmed in my opinion about the happiness of certain chains being broken. She exacted my secresy towards Mrs. Boyd, — therefore I cd. console her only...

Was in Mr. Boyd’s room before nine. Heard him say over the passages in the Prometheus, & read Gregory. He told me that he had a great mind to buy a book mentioned in Bohn’s catalogue, a very ancient edition of Gregory’s orations, price £2—12s—6d—[1] & that in that case he wd. ask me...

I was cudgelling my brains last night, to find out how I could get money to buy that book for Mr. Boyd. At last I decided; & this morning executed my design. I wrote to Eliza who is at Worcester, & sent to her my editions of Bolingbroke’s & Harris’s works[1] to be disposed of at Eaton’s,...

I have written a brief account of my visit my happy visit, my last visit—perhaps! to Malvern, because not having my Diary with me, I was obliged to trust my memory. I have been writing to Mr. Boyd this morning.[1] My note to him may be too expressive of regard!! As his letters to me express...

“Heigho the wind & the rain!”[1] I wish they had come last Thursday instead of this morning!— No going to church. My squirrel has eaten three chesnuts out of my hand, & has tried to eat my hand besides. It did not bite much. I should grow very fond of it, if it wd. but grow fond of me, &...

Bro, dear Bro, is gone to some place near Overbury, to the Miss Martins I think, to shoot with Mr. Martin.[1] He does not come back to us until tomorrow night or the next day morning. I hope that he may miss us, less than we must miss him. Bummy has sent Gent to Ledbury. So I shall have my...

Annie & Arabel & I were off at eleven. We were very nearly off in a less satisfactory manner; inasmuch as we discovered the insecurity of the iron rim round one of the wheels. Stopped at the Bartons, to save our lives. Miss Glasco superintended, very kindly. I like her. She called me her pet...

Well!—I had a very happy visit yesterday, & am happy today in thinking of it. How cd. I forget to say that Mr. Boyd told me “to come again as soon as I could”. Shall I not do it?—

The wheel of the carriage is gone to Ledbury; therefore going to Eastnor is out of the question. A battle of the frogs & mice[1] about dining at Mrs. Martin’s. She sent a note of invitation yesterday. I wish she wd. send no note of the kind to me. Bummy wont go,—but she wishes Henrietta & me...

Drove with Henrietta to Eastnor. I think I would upon the whole have preferred going by myself; because I want to say to Lady Margaret what I shd. not like to say before a third person—for fear of rejected addresses. But Lady Margaret was not alone—& therefore no harm was done by my not...

Finished the 5th. chapter De legibus—but very unwell all day. Wrote to Mrs. Boyd,—& told her what I thought wd. have been the consequence, had she gone to “that desirable Cheltenham”—namely that by this time she wd. have deeply lamented it. I hope the consequence of my saying so, may...

We cannot persuade Bummy to write to Papa to urge his decision. After all, I believe that she is right. He is in possession of every circumstance relating to her embarassment, & is not likely to allow her to remain in it, if he is able to do otherwise. Poor dear dear Papa!—may God support him,...

The first of November!— How & where will this month end to us? Shall we have moral joys as well as physical ones? Now I wd. not be a prophet, & be able to answer my own questions for the world.