[Boston—Thursday, 22 October 1868]
Thursday Oct 22d Getting occupied day by day in apathy which I mean to come out of it as soon as possible. Dentist & market and dresses—and so runs the day away—but I will come out of it—soon too. “Keep these cares without thee” God help me. Took gas made from ammonia and knew nothing while my wisdom tooth with great crooked fangs came out. I was visited simply by a vision of the doctrine of Compensation—if I missed that pang it must come in another form—curious enough that floating out on a sea of unconsciousness!
I waked up the next morning thinking how the waters of forgetfulness drowned me, how they closed over my head with one short struggle, how they spread like a thick veil between me and consciousness of pain—surely this is death—only the sea is then translucent.
