SD2256. Ada Shepard to Henry Clay Badger
As published in The Brownings’ Correspondence, 26, 355–356 (in part).
Rome,
Sunday Morning. April 3rd, 1859.
… Ah! my precious Clay! It has been hard to write to you for the last two days, not only because I am so constantly busy, but also because I have felt so anxious and grieved about our dear Una. Yesterday I had to write notes to Miss Peabody and Mrs. Mann, to tell them her danger, because Mrs. Hawthorne felt that they ought to be prepared for the tidings that may reach them before long, if Dr. Franco’s fears are well founded.
Two days ago he suddenly made the terrible and startling announcement that her lungs were dangerously attacked, and he feared that she was doomed to quick consumption. The disease had made rapid progress within forty-eight hours, when he first decided that her lungs were affected. He told Mrs. Hawthorne yesterday that in three days the work of three years of ordinary consumption had been done.
I cannot help hoping that he is entirely mistaken,—there are so many mistakes made about affections of the lungs. And he always takes the worst view of a case, I think.
Oh! I cannot tell you how I suffer from anxiety. The anguish I felt at the first knowledge of my father’s death was nothing compared to this agonized waiting, when so little can be done, and seeing the affection of her devoted parents.
Mrs. Hawthorne is perfectly strong and calm. She will not allow herself to compass the terrible thought that her darling may remain to her but a few days.
I am constantly busy, preparing nourishment for Una every three hours, and answering notes of inquiry, &c, and taking care of Rose. Mrs. Hawthorne is by Una’s bedside continually. She coughs a great deal. Oh! this is terrible. I can prepare myself for any sorrow of my own, I believe; but to see those around me in such an agony of suspense is almost more than I can bear. I never spent so sad a day as yesterday.
Dear Mrs. Browning came, yesterday, although she never goes anywhere, and she was so weak that I almost feared she would not be able to get down stairs without injury.
I never shall forget the half-hour she spent with me, sitting with both my hands in hers, and hearing all that I could tell her, with such depth of sympathy and tenderness. She came to urge Mrs. Hawthorne to have a consultation of physicians; but she feels such confidence in Dr. Franco that she does not feel in the least inclined to call in another.
Oh! May Heaven be merciful to them! I pray for mercy constantly. Yet who knows what is the highest mercy, but the Father, “who doeth all things well”?
Thursday afternoon.
Dr. Franco thought Una a little better, this morning, and I feel greatly encouraged. Her cough is much less painful.
I can think of nothing else, as you may imagine. It is very fortunate that Mrs. Hawthorne has so many kind friends here;—Mrs. Story, Mrs. Motley, Mrs. Browning and Mrs. Farrar,—all people whom you shall know through me some day, (for they are among the finer spirits of earth) are doing everything that human sympathy and wisdom can do.
Dear Una seems more herself now. …
I had a sweet little note from Mrs. Browning, this morning, in answer to one which I wrote her to tell her about Una, after the doctor’s visit last night. I shall send it to you, because I think you may like to see her writing. Please keep it, as I should like to have it always, although I have no passion for autographs in general, as some people have. …
Saturday Morning, by Una’s side.
The dear child and her mamma are both sleeping profoundly. “He giveth His beloved sleep” is in my mind constantly.
Publication: None traced.
Manuscript: Concord Free Public Library.
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