2709. EBB to Fanny Dowglass
As published in The Brownings’ Correspondence, 14, 326–328.
Florence–
October 25. [1847] [1]
It is grievous to have to put one’s gratitude, let it be ever so warm, in the place of oneself, my dearest Fanny, as I feel to my cost in beginning to write this letter. Yours was the very kindest, you are the very best, as always you are .. and I thank you from my husband’s heart & mine (he says “Do tell her how thankful I am”) for all this trouble you have taken & for which after all I can but love you back, & thank you as I say, .. for thus the matter lies– We cannot go to Rome at all this winter .. I have had strict injunctions from my medical friend in England not to attempt such a journey, .. and, disappointed as we both are, I dare not resist & must make the best of the sunshine at Florence & take a house in a warm situation, & forgo you for the present– Through my self will & ignorance (the two together) I had an illness at Pisa .. a miscarriage .. which I tell you that you may understand my precise reasons now for being submissive & avoiding the risk of giving as much anxiety & pain as I did then. Otherwise you might wonder at our choice of this climate & of our making & unmaking our minds in the front of your good counsel. We offered to travel to Rome by twenty miles a day, & it was not agreed to by the medical authorities– And so I miss you once more my dear, dear friend– If we had known, I wd [2] have seen you by some effort when you were in our neighbourhood .. but it seemed so certain that we should meet & be together in a few weeks!—as if anything could be certain while the earth turns round!– Well—but I may hope that God’s providence will bring us face to face before long, though it must not be immediately– To the last we were hoping,—and I am very well: it is all pure precaution, observe .. & were it not that I behaved ill before, the temptation wd be strong to behave ill now & to break these chains through the middle. As to the climate of Florence I am not myself afraid of it, because we shall be in the Piazza Pitti where a perpetual sun prevents the necessity of fires, and I shall never go out except on the mildest days, & then only to walk up & down in the sunshine before the door. For restless, impatient invalids, (less schooled than I have been) who pass from the funnel of hot air in one Florentine street to a funnel of cold air in another, I can understand how the place must be highly dangerous– For me I think it will be safe– I shall have the Florentine sun, & the fear of the shadow & the wind—and our three months of winter will soon go by—and I hear of consumptive persons who are the better for wintering here, having taken my precautions. So you wont shake your head—you are to imagine, too, how sedulously I am taken care of. It makes me ashamed sometimes– Just as if really I were worth it!– The consequence is that I begin to think it quite important not to run this risk or that risk, &, in such a way, make the kindest & dearest person in the world too much out of spirits– Our new apartment is made up of little sunshiny rooms & we give twenty scudi for it [3] —cheaper than your Rome, only that Rome is Rome—& who would not rather live at Rome & pay for it?– Still we shall be close to Raffael in the Pitti gallery, and Florence is beautiful—and, if God pleases, we shall be very happy here. Now I will tell you whom you will have at Rome instead of me, .. and more shame for me if I only say of it “A fair exchange” … one ought to be humbler you will retort, if but for the appearance’ sake. Clara Lyndsay (late Bayford) is on her way to Rome, my sisters write to me, with her invalid husband, & means to remain the winter there—& perhaps they may have arrived by the time you get this letter of mine. She married last year, and three months afterwards was almost a widow—he broke a blood vessel & stood at the very gates of death. A trial spared to her by the ineffable Mercy! He is well now, but is sent to Italy for the winter out of precaution. A good, kind Christian man I have heard him described[,] a widower with one child—and Clara is said to be no wise quenched by her marriage, but as joyous & full of jests as ever. I dont know whether she will like Italy as well as Scotland, but I am sure that to find you in Rome will be a great joy to her– Now I ought not to forget to tell you of Miss Boyle who wrote a very kind little note to Robert the other day to offer to come & sit with me & talk to me & help him to take care of me in all sorts of ways– Really it was very kind. She is settled with her family in a Florentine palazzo, & has left the Carreggi– [4] We know scarcely anybody here & shrink more than you may fancy, from the whole idealogy of the little white cards with corners turned down, which sometimes force you into social relation with persons with whom you cant sympathize if you try. Florence might be made detestable, yes, even Florence .. if you were floated fairly into the muddy stream of what is called here society——so different a thing from mental intercourse, .. so inferior a thing to Christian brotherhood! Yet I believe I ought to take care, having sinned much already (as I grew aware when my prison-door seemed shut fast for ever) against Humanity in God’s likeness, by my preference of Humanity in my own– To send my rain on the just and unjust ( .. viz on those like or unlike me forsooth!!) of old was as difficult to me as if I had a right idea of “justice!”– Poor creatures that we are (that I am!) to talk of justice. I should not be so happy, if justice had been measured out to me! My dearest friend, let me be comforted by a letter from you sometimes, & let it mention your health always—and I will faithfully remember those hateful rules of postage which put away double letters & single envelopes– Remember that I am to know your cousins one day, [5] & to be loved by you every day, precisely as if we had made use of your active kindness in our behalf—— May God bless you dearest Fanny– Robert asks you to accept his thankful regards from the hands of your
most affectionate Ba–
Address, on integral page: Alla Signora Dowglass / 93. Piazza di Spagna– / Roma.
Publication: None traced.
Manuscript: Huntington Library.
1. Year provided by postmark.
2. Underscored three times.
3. After spending three months in Palazzo Guidi (20 July–19 October), the Brownings moved to 1881 Via Maggio for ten days before taking up residence in an apartment in the Piazza Pitti, where they stayed until May 1848.
4. After a brief excursion to the baths at Casciano, the Boyles returned to Florence, where they took an apartment on the ground floor of the Casa Lagerschwerd. See Mary Boyle: Her Story, ed. Sir Courtenay Boyle, 1901, pp. 207–210.
5. Presumably a reference to Dr. Pollock and his wife; see letter 2681, note 9.
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