Sunday. Oct 2d.
I dont think Henrietta enjoyed herself or her party last night. What was the reason? She generally does enjoy everything of that kind.
I wrote a letter to Mrs. Boyd: a commentary on Mr. Biscoe’s letter—& advice! Advice from ME, who never know what is best to be done for myself!—who generally advise myself to walk into water or fire: I advised Mrs. Boyd not to write to Mr. Biscoe until she had ascertained the state of Annie’s feelings respecting him: (they will not be regarding him—) & in the case of their being as I suspect .. untouched,—to break off the business at once & altogether. Sent the letter, with a brace of pheasants for Mr. Boyd.
No Church at Colwall. Uninteresting sermon at Mr. Curzon’s. He is going to lend me a book—letters on particular redemption—which is “to do me a great deal of good”.[1] I asked to lend it to Mr. Boyd. “Yes. I am going to write to Mr. — —” What was the name? “and I shd. like to have your & Mr. Boyd’s annotations”. “My annotations’, I answered, “wd. be valueless.” So they wd.
I enquired Mr. Curzon’s opinion of Miss Gibbons. He enquired mine: And I said something of her vanity & selfishness, (tho’ at the same time, I “liked her in several respects”,—) which I have reproached myself ever since for saying. “Did Mr. Boyd observe it to you: or did you observe it?” “i observed it; & it does not render her Christian character attractive.” Now what business had I to say anything of the kind? If I were a Roman catholic, I wd. whip myself for it. I dare say I am quite as vain as Miss Gibbons,—used to be at any rate,—& shd. still be, if I had had my own way. Miss Gibbons was very kind & feeling to me, in her manner at least: & I ought at least to have been silent before Mr. Curzon, whose good opinion she was anxious, I know, to obtain. Agreed with Mrs. Cliffe—I am to go to the wyche early tomorrow, & walk to Ruby Cottage; & she is to call for me at four. This will save me half a crown. Not that I grudge half a crown: but I am obliged to ask Bro for all my turnpike money—& Papa may not like the bill. We caught a squirrel; & I claimed it.
1. [William Rushton], A Defence of Particular Redemption, Wherein the Doctrine of the late Mr. Fuller, Relative to the Atonement of Christ, is Tried by the Word of God. In Four Letters to a Baptist Minister (London,1831).
