Friday Nov. 18.
No!—Bummy wont—she followed me up stairs after breakfast to say so. I was determined not to oppose any wish of hers—& luckily no wish of her’s ran counter to mine. Henrietta quite angry with me, because Bummy wdnt go. It was all my fault—my fault!!!! and I ought to be ashamed of myself!— A note of invitation from Mrs. Martin addressed to us all four, about dining & sleeping at Colwall. Now if we all four had been judged necessary to go, I wd. have gone par necessitè. But what wd. have been the use of my going with Bummy when I hated it superlatively & Henrietta liked it superlatively. Henrietta out of humour with me. To Mr. Boyd’s I can go at any time—to Mrs. Martin’s never!— Comparing for a moment Mr. Boyd & Mrs. Martin!! I never cultivate the acquaintance of any one who can be of use to me!— Translate that by — — any one who has a large establishment, & gives gay parties.
I wish Henrietta would estimate people more by their minds than she actually does—, & that she were not so fond of visiting for visiting’s sake. At any rate, as I do not attempt to oppress her with my influence on that or any other subject, I have a right to be myself unoppressed by her’s. I told Bummy that if she wished me to go to Colwall, I wd. go. Bummy evidently did not care about it.
Reading Iphigenia in Aulis. I will go thro’ it now.
Telling stories to Occyta & Sette, in the evening. Cinderella & Blue Beard!—
