Saturday. June 18th.

Such a day! such a miserable day!— After breakfast which past as breakfasts usually do, I sate down in my arm chair to put the verbs in μι in me. Then Arabel announced Eliza Cliffe; then I ran down stairs to bring her up stairs; then she began to paint at my picture—& then the door bell rang! Those Brydges’s come back again to see the house!— Oh to hear their feet walking all over it—even up stairs—even to my very door!— Arabel locked it, & burst into tears! And I—the tears which ran down my cheeks, seemed scarcely to unparalyze me: I felt stone everywhere except in my heart! Well! they went away; & Arabel went out of the room; & Eliza & I sate silent for about an hour. Then Bummy came into the room,—& tho’ I tried to speak & seem as if I knew nothing, I could not!— Oh I could not! She said that Papa was going to London on Monday to settle everything, that there was no cause for uneasiness, (said before & for Eliza Cliffe) & that Eliza must promise to mention nothing of this annoying visit, to Mrs. Cliffe.

We went down to luncheon; & when Eliza had run up stairs (to seem out of the way) to mix her colours, Bummy H A & I talked of what had happened with melancholy voices. Bummy told us that Papa knew that it wd. happen,—that it cd. not be avoided,—that those London people had been enraged at the Meyricks having been turned away the other day,—that the place must be seen until the business is settled. James[1] is to meet Papa in London. [Uncle] Sam has not noticed his letter!— Is Sam still Sam? What a wretched day we have indeed had! Every nerve in my body seems relaxed; & the trembling has scarcely yet gone out of my knees. But as Papa is going to London, something may still be done. This is the last effort!— He was in tolerably good spirits at dinner. I wish I had been at Malvern today! Eliza told me that Miss Steers walks out with Mr. Boyd whenever she can. So he is not as considerate to her as he once was to another person!! He is not afraid of disgracing her by his “slovenly appearance”!!

Q[uer]y. Will Papa be angry with Lane for showing the house to those people? He told him that if they wished to see it, they might see it; but that he would not make himself a party to its being shown, by allowing any one belonging to him, to show it. Lane certainly ought to have been passive. Papa was annoyed at Eliza being here today: but he wd. not let Bummy send her away, for fear Mrs. Cliffe should hear of after circumstances, & suspect him of being ashamed of them. Wrote to Knibb[2] to propose an exchange of some useless books of mine.

Talked in the evening of my poem—that is, Papa talked to me about it. He said of the essay on Mind[3] that the more he read it, the more he liked it. He advised me not to put “By the author of the Essay on Mind” on the title page of the 1st. edition of my next poem,—on account of my late intermeddling with living characters. If it comes to a 2d. edition I can do so.— Lane was right in what he did. Papa had given him other orders.

1. James Altham Graham-Clarke (1791–1860), E.B.B.’s maternal uncle, and Bummy’s younger brother.

2. James Knibb, Bookseller, 89 High-street, Worcester. He had been declared bankrupt on 6 May (The Times, 7 May 1831), and the business was currently under the control of official Assignees.

3. An Essay on Mind, with Other Poems (London, 1826).


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