Monday Sept 5th.
Eliza Cliffe came here to breakfast according to the arrangement yesterday; & the morning was bright for our expedition to the hills. Before breakfast, I went in to see dear Minny, whom I found much more composed & comfortable. For this, I thank God!—
Clouds coming over—a few drops of rain; but the rain ceased,—& then we set off. Bummy Arabel & I in the carriage; Henrietta & Eliza on horseback. Before we had past Mrs. Brown’s,[1] on the rain came again,—& we paused under a tree, a semi-colon pause. I was dreadfully afraid of a full stop. But we were eloquent & Bummy persuadible; & we made our way en avant to the wyche; while “The rain it rainëd all the way”.[2] But at the whyche, the clouds brightened up, & so did our faces: & after sending the horses down to Barnets,[3] we proceeded with our veal pye, much faster than ministers are doing with the reform bill. Encamped a few yards above the ash,—
& laughed & ate, laughed & ate,
Laughed & ate & laughed again—
As the silver knives & forks could not be left without protection, I took them under mine, in my slipping down to Ruby Cottage. Turned to the left hand side instead of to the right, as soon as I had past the Ruby gate, & elicited notes of admiration from Mr. Boyd & Miss Boyd who were walking in front of the house. Miss Boyd could not imagine to whom my black figure belonged, & had some doubts as to my being “a spirit.” A black spirit! How infernal I must have looked! Mr. Boyd wd. go into the house, tho’ I was hypocritical enough to remonstrate a little. A very little,—for I felt in my secret soul that if my remonstrance had had any effect on him, all my philosophy wd. have had no effect upon me. But I went in to the breakfast room for a moment or two, before I was summoned to his room. I was about three I suppose when I arrived at Ruby Cottage,—& I stayed until six. Mr. Boyd had his dinner at his usual hour— Until then we talked; & after then we read. Read a poem of Gregory’s which has been translated by Mr. Boyd, beginning πολλακι;[4] & began another, beginning Γαια Φιλη.[5] The former is fine. I was very very happy as I was reading both of them! An explanation of his vindictiveness on Sunday. No vindictiveness in the case. I thought it could not be! But Mrs. Boyd’s manner being a mystery, was a raiser of doubts. He objected to their going to Hope End, only on account of the intrusive appearance such a visit might have.
Mrs. Boyd came into the room, to tell me that she meant to search over the hills for my party, and ask them to drink tea with her!— “Why shd. you ask them?” said Mr. Boyd. “I hope they wont come”. After she had gone, there was some kindness of manner thrown away, in the fear that he had “hurt or offended me, by what he had just said with so little premeditation.” I assured him of my being in no degree hurt or offended. Began an elaborate apology for Arabel, who has not once called on Mrs. Boyd since they settled at Ruby Cottage—but it wd’nt do: I saw that plainly. I was telling him about Miss Wall’s Bacchanalian letter, when Arabel & Eliza came for me. He shook hands with Arabel, at “their exits & their entrances”[6]—& did no more. Not one word, did he speak to her. We stayed only a few minutes—& then our good bye was said. “Must you go so soon?” he asked me!— I promised to go again so soon!
I forgot to mention that Miss Bordman came previously, to say that as Miss Gibbons was not going to drink tea with Mr. Wood, Mrs. Boyd wd. not send to my party. She fancies or rather penetrates Bummy’s dislike to Miss G. Mr. Boyd asked what Miss Bordman said to me. My answer was, “Something that will relieve you”. “Relieve me! what is it? are you going to sleep here tonight?” I liked to hear him say that. Indeed all his manner was all kindness today: & I felt convinced from the beginning to the end of it, that my absurdities towards him, & his regard for me, were very great. Not that his regard & friendship are equal to mine. But as long as there is a reciprocity, I have no right to expect an equality,—and that he really has a real regard & friendship for me, I feel sure—at least today!--
Arabel is angry at his silence to her; but I persuaded her not to speak her anger at home. Foolish, that silence was! I will speak to him about it, whenever I see him next. He & I feel very differently upon some points, & this is one; that when people about whom I dont care, neglect me, I never think about their neglect. Now he certainly does not care much whether he sees Arabel or not; and yet he not only thinks about her neglect, but takes the trouble of avenging it. Besides she never intended any degree of neglect or incivility, to any person at Ruby Cottage.
Miss Bordman goes to Mr. Davidson’s tomorrow, for ten days!—
We got home at eight, & sent an escort to Mathon with Eliza. A delightful day. Food for dreams!—
1. Mrs. Brown was the tenant of Cummins Farm, a little more than a mile east of Hope End, on the road to Barton Court and Malvern.
2. Cf. the Clown’s song, Twelfth Night V.i.375ff: “For the rain it raineth every day.”
3. Joseph Barnett was the tenant of Winnings Farm, about ¾ mile from the Wyche, on the Ledbury side.
4. “Often”; the opening word of Carmen V, “Conqueritur de Suis Calamitatibus” (GNO, II, 73–75).
5. “Beloved land”; the opening words of the poem, “Ærumnas, Suas Luget, Christumq: Obsecrat” (GNO, II, 76–77).
6. As You Like It II.vii.139–141.
