Sunday Oct 16.

At breakfast Arabel called upon me to divulge the secret. How angry Bummy was!— I “ought not to have received such a confidence!”— Now how could I help it? I am NOT to blame. I never solicited, but cd. not reject, much less cd. I abuse Mr. Curzon’s confidence. I can only regret its being extended to me.

It has been on my mind from the first, that Miss Gibbons shd. have communicated her intention to her parents; shd. have acted firmly on it, but still have communicated it. Upon this point, however I was not consulted; &, as Mr. Curzon approves of the concealment, I shd. not have been justified in giving an opinion. He said to me today at the school. “Somebody sends her love to you”—& he announced the celebration of the ordinance of baptism at four, tomorrow afternoon. May God bless & sanctify it to her soul.

Mr. Curzon’s text was “knowing the terrors of the Lord, we persuade men”.[1] An impressive discourse.

I had today a letter from my dear dear Papa—dearer to me than he ever was!—very kind & satisfactory, but silent on the subject. I am sure there is no hope!— Minny thinks the same; & she is more likely to be right than I am. Ken[d]rick, she says, had a letter a fortnight ago, desiring him to purchase horses for ploughing, & announcing that everything wd. soon be finally settled! Well! however it may be settled, God will abide with us!—

All this makes me more anxious than usual to be with my dear friend Mr. Boyd, as much as I can. Tomorrow my usual expedition is cancelled! But I am thinking that I may be well dedommagèe[2] by going back with Mrs. Boyd, sleeping at Ruby Cottage, & returning here on Tuesday. To come however to this happy conclusion, certain premises are necessary. Will she ask me? If she does not, I must stay on my own. If she does, my “yes” is ready; & how happy shall I be in saying it!—

Bummy has scarcely spoken to me all day. How can I possibly help Miss Gibbons’s being baptized?--

1. II Corin. v.11: “Knowing therefore the terror of the Lord, we persuade men; but we are made manifest unto God; and I trust also are made manifest in your consciences.”

2. “Compensated.”


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